Posts

Showing posts from November, 2017

After The Weight is Lost: Holiday Edition (a poorly written rambly mess of an article).

As many of you who know me on facebook know, I've lost "the weight".  My adventure began on March 11, 2016 (or was it the 13th?  I lost track) and since that time I've released almost 90 pounds, going from 2x/3x clothes to M clothes with a few items labeled S an a few things in L that I'm not letting go of yet.

It takes a new set of skills to lose weight and keep it off, and it takes consistent engagement with those skills and a commitment to keeping the lines in place.

I'll be open and say that my weight loss has been helped by joining Overeaters Anonymous, getting a sponsor and working the 12 steps and being "abstinent".  But if I look at that process through an analytical eye, there are certain things I am doing that can either be done with a 12 step program, or elsewise.  Recovery by any other name is just as sweet.  Likewise, there are things that I am doing that are not specific to OA (OA doesn't make any comment on specific food plans and…

Thanksgiving Day

We got Wes' diagnosis the day before Thanksgiving in 2013.  So yeah, this holiday is forever basically ruined for our family.

And he's only been gone 6.5 weeks, and so today is shitty shitty shitty shitty hard. 

We are trying to ignore the holiday, but the work of ignoring it means there's an awareness and so it's actually impossible to ignore.  You know how it goes. 

Not cooking a Turkey (none of us LIKE Turkey enough for that).  But people still gotta eat so there will be food, I suppose.

Going to see Thor this afternoon.  We went and saw Justice League yesterday.  This is a special form of torture for me, but I love my peeps, so I will do it.

Yeah, holidays are crummy for the bereaved.  I didn't make it to Church this morning for Divine Liturgy because I couldn't muster the energy to climb over the steaming pile of my grief and:  get dressed, say prayers, be hungry and go to Church.  Not to mention being the energy force that supposedly gets the millenials u…

Shock

Very often I stand in my icon corner and I just wail at God: "He died!!!" 
Like I am in shock and astonished and dismayed and surprised that after all the anticipatory grief, the thing actually happened. 
The fact that it is so jarring has come as a surprise. 
"He died!!!" I cry. 
"He died!!!" 
It is all so wrong.

Widowhood 101: Unclogging the Sink

Tonight the kitchen sink was clogged up with some herbal stuff that a certain someone decided to send down the garbage disposal.  This device is NOT meant to deal with leaves, herbs and twigs...So I tried a snake, and I tried a plunger, to no avail. I had my hand all up in there, picking twigs and leaves out for a very long time... Then I decided to get radical and I took the pipes apart under the sink.  And I removed the gunk.  And then I put them back together.  And then I had to do it a second time because there was more gunk I missed the first time.  So I did.

I did this.  Successfully. 

I didn't call a plumber. 

I didn't have to discuss with anyone what to do. 

I didn't have anyone disagreeing with what I thought should be done. 

I just saw what needed doing and did it, because that is now I am.

I saved a bunch of money. 

It is scary and awful to be alone, but unilateral decisions that turn out well....kinda nice.

Sad Sack Report.

I guess a couple of weeks have gone by in my sad sack life and I failed to update my blog.  Everything is quiet and I'm supposed to be resting.  ha.  I was really sick and now I'm just run down and I can't dislodge a certain pile of congestion in my chest. 

What, you ask, have I been up to day to day?  Well, living peacefully with Bethany and making food in smaller quantities of highly nourishing variety.  Today was lentil stew with spinach.  I creamed it so she was able to eat the spinach without any textural challenges and we both liked it.

On Sunday evenings B and I have been driving down to Berea to have supper with the college people.  That's always nice.  I'm trying to let go of that sense of doom I have about whatever it is they are doing or not doing, and only worry about ME and my own repentance and let them carry their own selves, while still being a loving and supportive presence in their lives.  It's hard to know how to be a mother of young adults. …