Tuesday, March 31, 2009


For years I've been restraining my more eccentric urges, hoping to somehow pass for normal and making myself miserable in the process. Feeling torn and miserable all the time is no way to live. Yes, it's true.

So, I've decided to just go with the flow of who I am and not worry so much about what others might think of this particular middle-aged lady (am I middle aged yet? I'm sure not trying to be young anymore.) Yeah, it's probably a developmental milestone or something that comes along with getting wee little hot flashes.

Too bad they don't make a book called "What to Expect the Thirty-Ninth Year".

I bet wee little hot flashes would be in such a book. As well as finally arriving at the notion that nobody really cares whether one is eccentric or not, so one might as well be as weird as one desires. (All within moral, ethical and religious boundaries, of course). Ha!

So I feel better. I was pretty depressed and shed many tears this past weekend, but I think I'm going to stop beating myself up over my weirdnesses and eccentricities, and go with the flow of who I am. Because maybe, just maybe, God made me this way.

Aaron Shust "My Savior My God"

One of my favorites. This is the type of thing we listen to in the car.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


Yesterday, after playing in the sand pit for a while, my youngest came in crying because some kid was throwing sand at her and messing up her building efforts. WHY do kids act like that? You'd think this sort of behavior would be nipped in the bud by the time a child is eight or nine or ten years old. It's just juvenile and ridiculous. So, I went out and had a little chat with the offender, which may or may not help the future situation, as he would barely talk to me, and basically rolled his eyeballs at me the whole time. Next time (please God, don't let there be a next time) his mama's gonna hear about it.

Well, a few minutes after she came in, A realized she'd lost her mood ring. Her beloved mood ring that she's saved up her allowance to buy, from the Bernheim Forrest Gift Shop. I was rather proud of her. She saw the mood rings there the first time we visited, and then set aside her penchant for buying candy, and started doing chores and saving her quarters. As she wailingly pointed out to me, $4.33 is alot of money for her.

Well, it was gone and we wondered if it was lost in the sand pit, as she did not remember taking it off before going to play outside. Her sadness made me anxious and upset, too, (on top of confronting the little brat on the playground) and what I really wanted to do was promise to buy her another one. But I didn't. I knew better. She needed to learn a lesson about taking care of things, since apparently my lecture had not done any good. So I stayed silent.

Pretty soon, her mood shifted and she decided she's keep looking for the ring, but also start saving up for another one. After that she was a much happier girl and I was glad I hadn't tried to rescue her.

This morning, the ring was found in her brother's room where apparently she'd taken it off while fidgeting. As a reward, he collected a fifty cents, and a pokemon card that his sister bestowed upon him.

I'm sure the mood ring's stone is a dark blue color, which stands for happy.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Lovely Feast of the Annunciation

Matins this morning was starting at 5:45 and of course I did not plan on making that...just liturgy at 7 am. But my two oldest were up and ready at the crack-o-dawn and woke me up, so at 5:59 we were out the door and headed over there. It was nice. No clock, no way to keep track of time, so you just step out of time for a while and listen and pray. Being up and at Church that early reminded me of being at the monastery a few weeks ago. That same timeless feeling.

I love the candle light in the morning darkness. After about forty five minutes a bird could be heard heralding the coming sunrise outside the cracked chapel window, and more people started drifting in, and the sky started lightening. And soon enough I noticed that choir members were drifting towards the choir corner, so I did too.

Liturgy was wonderful and rousing. But I got very dizzy part way through and had to sing sitting down.

We went on home after (I think I heard a rumor of food in the fellowhsip hall but I couldn't eat it and neither could half my kids, so home we went.) Since it's a feast day, I promised the kids I'd make gluten free fritters, which I did. I also made myself some low carb fritters, and that was a good treat with the decaf coffee that still seems to wake me up a bit.

A very cool, wet and gray day. The sun is NOT shining, but now my two youngest are out in the sand pit by the play ground building castles in the wet sand. That's fun. I promised them I'd keep an eye out for some cheap sand toys at walmart or something. I'm glad that my kids are still kids, that at almost 15, 13, and soon enough 11 and 10, they still like play grounds and digging in the sand.

Since it is a feast day, we made it special by only doing math for school and then watching Phantom of the Opera together. I'd forgotten about the murders. But a good illustration of creepy people who are overly needy and controlling. We also discussed the classic "literary" elements and the use of color: white versus black horse, for instance...

And I finally went through the kids' respective closets and figured out who has what, who needs what and who can pass what along to whom and what needs to be pitched. I hate that job, but it has to be done twice a year. Gonna need to do some clothes shopping for this summer, that's for sure.

Well, happy feast day. In case you're not Orthodox, it's the feast of the Annunciation. You know: March 25...nine months till Christmas. We should mark the time of this life with the Kingdom of Heaven. Happy Feast Day!

Monday, March 23, 2009

Crazy, crazy Lent so far...

and of course I can't stay away from the blogging. But I have cut back.

So, what's been happening with me, you wonder? Well, my back is way better than it has been in YEARS, thanks to a new chiropractor and some custom orthotics in my shoes. Wow. Walking without pain. Who knew?

I had a very nice trip up to Holy Dormitian monastery the first weekend of Lent. That was fabulous. It rained the entire time, like cats and dogs, but I got to pray, pray and pray some more. My family's health needs, especially my oldest but also my son were particularly on my heart.

B is not doing too hot. Barely muddling along. Please pray with us that God would either heal her, or help us find the right meds for her to be on so that her illness can become stabilized. Her current meds: less than perfect but better than nothing.

All the kids being so funky and ill feels like spiritual warfare. So we pray, pray, and pray some more. God have mercy.

Home school plods along in much more of a Charlotte Mason style than ever before. I remember a few years back when I tried doing a classical approach, got all these wonderful books in the mail and had no idea what to do with them. I'm learning and I know so much more now. And now my son learned that the underground railroad was NOT a giant subway system designed to whisk runaway slaves to freedom in Canada.

Do you know what a Thylacine is? Ha! We do. It's a supposedly extinct marsupial wolf-like creature with tiger stripes on it's backside that used to inhabit Australia and more recently Tazmania. In Australia the Dingoes (brought by Asian traders thousands of years ago) muscled them into extinction/great rarity, and in Tasmania it was sheep farmers in the past 200 years. Supposedly the last specimen died in a zoo in 1936 but there is at least one Youtube video on such a creature supposedly filmed in the 1970's. Fun stuff. I love obscurities. Too bad they don't test kids on their knowledge about the Thalacine on the SAT, eh?

Monday, March 16, 2009

Cute Quote

"Mom, you're the best, best, best, best, best, best, best Mom ever [thoughtful pause]...except for the Theotokos."----Ariana (my youngest)

I thought it was cute.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

Forgiveness Sunday

Forgive me, a sinner, for all my sins and offenses against you.