Gripetitude

Today's been hard, emotionally.  No big sobfests on my part, but the kids are sort of coming unglued.  Who wouldn't be, given the circumstances of their lives?  It's not like they just have a dad with brain cancer...they also have a mom who is very fatigued and chronically ill and who struggles with her own health every day.  And they have siblings who have autism to deal with, who need extra care and love and patience.  All this added together renders our family one big mess. 

I won't go into details.  Suffice it to say, more than one of us lost our temper, had a melt down, raised our voices, got super tired....it was a day.

In order to diffuse some of the negative energy I took three of the kids to the zoo for a walk.  It was colder than we wanted it to be and not all the animals were out, but at least we walked and breathed somewhat fresher air for a couple of hours.

I should not have gone because I have a hellish chest cold, but I popped a Dayquil and off we went. Now I'm UP UP UP!  Because...speed.

Naturally we came home exhausted.  Which resulted in more melt downs and more tears and more self-injury etc. etc. blah blah blah (yay, autism!)

Eventually things calmed down, and I went and picked up Wes from work and we came home and I proceeded NOT to fix supper (everyone grabbed their own thing).  I washed dishes so that Wes could tinker with the dripping faucet.  I've not been able to fix it.  He wasn't able to fix. it.  For weeks we have been turning the water off and on UNDER the sink when we need to use the kitchen sink.  This is a giant pain in the hinderquarters.  Truly, it is.  Need to call the plumber soon, then, since we both took a crack at it to no avail. 

[Paragraph deleted due to too much personal private griping and complaining.]

...and he's scared of chemo next week and how sick it will make him.  I would be too.  My heart hurts to think about his suffering.

I need more love and compassion.  And way less gripetitude.