In all my reading of the sad news story this past week after the massacre in Tucson, one thing stands out to me: The fact that Loughner was mentally ill, and somehow fell through the cracks. He was kicked out of his college for erratic behavior, but that seems to be as far as any sort of intervention when on his behalf.
Was it because he was of legal age? Can a mentally ill person only be committed and get help if they commit themselves to medical care? (I think the answer to that is yes, unless they make a suicide attempt, or kill someone).
There as a clear line in the sand between sanity and insanity and this young man crossed it months ago. His community KNEW he crossed it.
And yet, the people nearest to him were unable to help him, I guess.
It is often very difficult for the people who are closest to a mentally ill person to really see what's going on. Sometimes it's glaringly obvious, when there is a crisis. But when the situation with that person is not a crisis, or has not yet reached a crisis point but has been subtly getting worse for a while, it's easy to be in denial, or to really not know what it going on. I think it's normal to want to withdraw, mentally, from the possibility. It's too much to contemplate or consider, or realize and ackknowledge.
I remember being out on a walk by myself, years ago...when B was only about 11, wondering if she were mentally ill. And worrying about it. And then having that withdrawal reaction. I was seeing the signs...the very beginnings of trouble brewing, but I did not know what to do with that information. So I shut down. But not completely. I did call a doctor and got her some help. The beginnings of help. But things got so much worse from there. But I digress-only to say that I know what it's like to be in the parents' seat.
But here is Laughner, spinning downward, out of control into sociopathic thinking. He was not being silent with his sociopathic thoughts, either. No, he was posting them on youtube and on myspace, etc.
And yet, it's always someone else's problem, isn't it?
Have we, as a society gotten to the point where we can't call someone to accountability when they are clearly sociopathic...until it's too late?
Was it because he was of legal age? Can a mentally ill person only be committed and get help if they commit themselves to medical care? (I think the answer to that is yes, unless they make a suicide attempt, or kill someone).
There as a clear line in the sand between sanity and insanity and this young man crossed it months ago. His community KNEW he crossed it.
And yet, the people nearest to him were unable to help him, I guess.
It is often very difficult for the people who are closest to a mentally ill person to really see what's going on. Sometimes it's glaringly obvious, when there is a crisis. But when the situation with that person is not a crisis, or has not yet reached a crisis point but has been subtly getting worse for a while, it's easy to be in denial, or to really not know what it going on. I think it's normal to want to withdraw, mentally, from the possibility. It's too much to contemplate or consider, or realize and ackknowledge.
I remember being out on a walk by myself, years ago...when B was only about 11, wondering if she were mentally ill. And worrying about it. And then having that withdrawal reaction. I was seeing the signs...the very beginnings of trouble brewing, but I did not know what to do with that information. So I shut down. But not completely. I did call a doctor and got her some help. The beginnings of help. But things got so much worse from there. But I digress-only to say that I know what it's like to be in the parents' seat.
But here is Laughner, spinning downward, out of control into sociopathic thinking. He was not being silent with his sociopathic thoughts, either. No, he was posting them on youtube and on myspace, etc.
And yet, it's always someone else's problem, isn't it?
Have we, as a society gotten to the point where we can't call someone to accountability when they are clearly sociopathic...until it's too late?
Comments
Hugs.
I work in s system that is overburdened, so when a call comes in concerning a person with a mental illness the first question is...it there a present crisis? If not the long waiting referals begin. Meanwhile the person might spiral out of control, or just become one of those folks who slip through the cracks--and disappear.
I can't tell you how many times I have talked to case workers and they say things like, 'they are from way back, but I haven't heard from them in a while.' Why NOT!?!?!?
Care is the needed word in this equation. ON GOING care should be the aim rather than crisis intervention.
Part of it is the system, part of it is society. IT is better to look the other way than to get involved with something messy. The MH system doesn't even like it when it gets messy, so you know those in society don't want to get involved!
Out total outlook of care and concern for those who have mental illness needs to be revamped. In order for this to take place we need to genuinely care for the person first. This is difficult because our society is not geared this way...much less the MH system.
Sorry to go off here, but working in 'the system' and having a son with MH issues can just...well, you know.
It was and is a messy situation. One that was and is not easy. Fortunately, these events occurred late in my aunt's life. From her teens until menopause she lived a productive, full and fruitful life socializing with friends, dating, traveling to Europe, going on cruises and holding down a job with IBM.
Prayers.
Because that "crazy homeless person" is in actuality someone's aunt or...or father, or mother...for sure someone's daughter or son.
We don't spring up in this world from a cabbage patch, and yet the isolation that occurs as a result of our brokenness, and especially for those who are mentally ill, is so very very isolating.
And for the family members its a LONG HARD path to walk beside the person. And it's a commitment to take such a walk-with a broken heart that never heals.
I wish I could say more, but in truth I haven't the words.
I was in the hospital when the whole thing happened- on hold because I was suicidal. Still am. I am currently undergoing electroconvulsive therapy. And yet, I am still suicidal, almost worst so than when I was being held in the psych. ward.
I have been to the Safeway where this all happened- there is a huge memorial there- and it is so humbling and overwhelming.
I hope that Laughner is getting the help he needs and I hope that it works, the same way that I hope my ECT will help me feel normal and not want to off myself. Because right now, I'm still pretty suicidal and it sucks. Rest assured, as much as I want to do myself in, I'm only out for myself. I'm not going to be at the root of the next Tucson Massacre.
Blessings to all of you. :-)