Wanna be a "Mary"...

...forced to be a "Martha".

That's my experience of Holy Week year after year. I particularly over-did it yesterday, just doing what needed doing. Nothing could have been left out. Ok, perhaps I didn't need to lift weights, but even so I only got in two sets, and at the time I did not anticipate some other unexpected exercise that would come my way. Ever NEED to run to the store and not have a car? Walmart is just a wee more than 1.5 miles from my house. I made it there, and back again with my one item in a bit more than an hour, walking as fast as I could.

Then there was that loaf of gluten free bread to be baked, so that my daughter could eat sandwiches. And some pre-pascha prep work to be done so that it would not all fall on Saturday.

It's just always so busy. Day before yesterday I got all the ironing done for all the clothes that people would need to wear over the next few days to look nice. With my luck nobody will want to wear THOSE clothes, especially now that the weather suddenly turned cold.

And then, last night after prayers I had to go schlepp my exhausted self to the grocery store to get some much needed items to get us through the upcoming busyness...

I"m already tired this morning, and hurting again and today will be much like yesterday only with more Church and less "running". Friday, unfortunately is church interspersed with...yes indeed! Grocery Shopping! I hate that. A recipe for utter exhaustion. It's like I"m running around like the guy in the circus balancing all those spinning plates. AND I"m supposed to then have energy to actually focus on prayers? Last night I just sat on the pew like a stump and could barely grasp what was being said. I was too tired. It was all a fog. During the prostrations I was as much focused on how much my back hurt and head hurt as I was on worship. A smidgen of worship got through, but only a smidgen.

And so it goes. I wish I could just put bodily needs on hold for a few days. And I know that's what is supposed to happen...like maybe somewhere in a monastery! But let me count: one, two, three, four growing kids. One, two separate special diet situations in the family aside from Lenten-type Holy Week fasting itself (HA!) and the net result is: One TIRED mom!

And I KNOW that some ladies are naturally "Martha" types and they get energized by all this. But me, I just want to curl up with my bible and read the rest of the Gospel of Mark this morning, drink something hot and REST, because I"m already tired and the "busy" days are not even upon upon us yet. Instead, there is work to be done. Wah!


carmen said…
Alana, doing what you are doing is a prayer in itself.

Be kind to yourself.
Mimi said…
I agree wholeheartedly with Carmen. Rest, my friend, and don't over-do it and end up missing the Resurrection service.
Abouna said…
I was in a monastery for a number of years when I was studying for the priesthood, and believe me it was just as busy and hectic during Pascha and the Nativity as what you are finding.

Of course we did take timeout every day to smell the roses and to pray.
It's the busiest week of the year but it's worth it!