Lyrics to my latest song. My kids hate it. I was trying to be funny. And the fact is, I looked only to myself and the habits I have been striving to change for the past couple of years to come up with recipes, habits and excuses found therein.
American Fat Girl
this song is about me, and my own lies. Sometimes the truth hurts.. But no longer when you are doing something about it....
by Alana Sheldahl
6-16-06
Walk real slow through Walmart
and call it exercise
Order up a Diet Coke
when you supersize
Tell yourself that those bites don’t count
when eaten at the sink
and you can sneak an extra cookie
or a bite or two of cake
cause if you slice it just so
no one will know...
Pizza sauce and Jello salad
count toward five a day
and the veggies on your burger
count as four.
Gotta get some calcium
this icecream will do fine
and you swear you’re gonna faint
if you don’t eat some more
cause if you tell yourself it’s so
maybe it won’t show...
Chorus:
Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich
fried to a crisp in oil
with a tall cold glass of cow’s milk on the side
You guess it’s just your bad genetic luck in life, you say
and a moderate helping of cookies
means you eat only nine
American fat girl...American fat girl
Ramen noodles with sauteed spam
topped with cheddar cheese.
A little Debbie brownie
is part of the routine
Graham crackers must be eaten
one package at a time,
and if you don’t stop for cheeseburgers
you think you’re gonna die
and if you tell yourself it’s so
maybe it won’t show...
Chorus:
Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich
fried to a crisp in oil
with a tall cold glass of cow’s milk on the side
You guess it’s just your bad genetic luck in life, you say
and a moderate helping of cookies
means you eat only nine
American fat girl...American fat girl
It’s so unfair
the man is skinny
eating all he wants
but what he wants is veggies
and fish-steamed.
and I don’t have a problem
‘cause I don’t eat all at once
and you should see my relatives
it must just be my genes
and if I tell myself it’s so
maybe this won’t show...
Chorus:
Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich
fried to a crisp in oil
with a tall cold glass of cow’s milk on the side
You guess it’s just your bad genetic luck in life, you say
and a moderate helping of cookies
means you eat only nine
American fat girl...American fat girl
Bridge:
eat more and exercise less
don’t look in the mirror when you dress
do this every day for a few years
and you’ll be
...an American fat girl
an American fat girl
American fat girl
American fat girl....this is how to be...an American fat girl
Chorus:
Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich
fried to a crisp in oil
with a tall cold glass of cow’s milk on the side
You guess it’s just your bad genetic luck in life, you say
and a moderate helping of cookies
means you eat only nine
American fat girl...American fat girl
American Fat Girl
this song is about me, and my own lies. Sometimes the truth hurts.. But no longer when you are doing something about it....
by Alana Sheldahl
6-16-06
Walk real slow through Walmart
and call it exercise
Order up a Diet Coke
when you supersize
Tell yourself that those bites don’t count
when eaten at the sink
and you can sneak an extra cookie
or a bite or two of cake
cause if you slice it just so
no one will know...
Pizza sauce and Jello salad
count toward five a day
and the veggies on your burger
count as four.
Gotta get some calcium
this icecream will do fine
and you swear you’re gonna faint
if you don’t eat some more
cause if you tell yourself it’s so
maybe it won’t show...
Chorus:
Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich
fried to a crisp in oil
with a tall cold glass of cow’s milk on the side
You guess it’s just your bad genetic luck in life, you say
and a moderate helping of cookies
means you eat only nine
American fat girl...American fat girl
Ramen noodles with sauteed spam
topped with cheddar cheese.
A little Debbie brownie
is part of the routine
Graham crackers must be eaten
one package at a time,
and if you don’t stop for cheeseburgers
you think you’re gonna die
and if you tell yourself it’s so
maybe it won’t show...
Chorus:
Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich
fried to a crisp in oil
with a tall cold glass of cow’s milk on the side
You guess it’s just your bad genetic luck in life, you say
and a moderate helping of cookies
means you eat only nine
American fat girl...American fat girl
It’s so unfair
the man is skinny
eating all he wants
but what he wants is veggies
and fish-steamed.
and I don’t have a problem
‘cause I don’t eat all at once
and you should see my relatives
it must just be my genes
and if I tell myself it’s so
maybe this won’t show...
Chorus:
Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich
fried to a crisp in oil
with a tall cold glass of cow’s milk on the side
You guess it’s just your bad genetic luck in life, you say
and a moderate helping of cookies
means you eat only nine
American fat girl...American fat girl
Bridge:
eat more and exercise less
don’t look in the mirror when you dress
do this every day for a few years
and you’ll be
...an American fat girl
an American fat girl
American fat girl
American fat girl....this is how to be...an American fat girl
Chorus:
Peanut Butter and jelly sandwich
fried to a crisp in oil
with a tall cold glass of cow’s milk on the side
You guess it’s just your bad genetic luck in life, you say
and a moderate helping of cookies
means you eat only nine
American fat girl...American fat girl
Comments
Absolutely brilliant; you summed me up to a T !