Thursday, October 31, 2013

Freedom

I'm done.  This shirt "fast" has been a good thing for the past two and a half weeks, but it's over.  Yes, I know.  I said until the 15th, but I have to stop.

My reasons:

First of all, mission accomplished, for now.  I AM now more grateful and satisfied with what is hanging in my own closet, and that urge to shop shop shop has died down.  I will remember this, and pull back on my wardrobe variety in the future when this issue crops up again for me.  I know it will.

Second of all, I realize my own foolishness.  I put burdens on  myself that neither the Orthodox Church nor God is putting on me, and this is a very heavy load indeed.   I need to learn to submit myself to a little bit of freedom every now and then.  I like rules and I like boundaries, but then I get depressed and go crazy with self imposed nonsense like this.  I am broken.

Thirdly:  I am betwixt and between.  I've lost some weight and most of my skirts from last fall/winter no longer fit me in the same way and everything is saggy baggy and very very frumpy.  I'm having a hard time finding replacements.  I am also finding that it is TIME to start sitting under my full spectrum light for 15 minutes a day.  Depression has started dogging me again.  Happens every year.

Fourth:  I have enough going on in my life without some silly shirt experiment.

So yes, all of you five readers out there who "know" me by now:  You were right.  I didn't last.  I don't mind.  This, too, is good for my humility.

Now, what the heckldydeck am I going to WEAR?  ;-) 

4 comments:

priest's wife said...

....and St Philip's fast starts in 2 weeks! (of course- it can be strict or not strict depending on what you and your spiritual father decide)

elizabeth said...

well, you accomplished what you wanted to do, right? (point one in your post) :)

In all things we can learn something.

This time of year can be hard.

love to you.

mamajuliana said...

Definitely not a failure. You did learn and accomplish your goal! Learning and moving forward.

Ребекка Сташко said...

Sounds like a healthy experiment ... you learned what you wanted ... and figured out what you needed.

~Rebecca