Just Not a Very Great Day

So, today was my husband's company pic-nic. Oh joy. It was being held at this place called Renaissance Fun Park, which has absolutely nothing to do with either the Renaissance, Fun, or ...well, if a park is a nice place with green and shady trees, no park either. It had mini golf, go karts, and a very loud arcade...and a pavilion with loud speakers and music and horrid catered food.

As we entered the place, our hands were stamped and we each got a small cup full of tokens. The kids took off into the din of iniquity to gamble away their tokens and I played a game of pin ball and a very short game of Ms. Pac Man. There were other things, too and it was all very noisy. I could hardly stand it and I could practically see the place being such a sensory overload that there would be a melt down at some point by one or another of my more sensitive kids.

Soon enough we ventured out to the pavilion where lunch was being catered. Our food options: Barbeque chicken or pork, potato salad, corn on the cob and brownies with nuts on top. To drink: tea and lemonade, all of which contained sugar, caffeine, or both.

I was mad about the food choices. Normally his company is very good about providing a vegetarian option and I HAD been planning on eating lots of veggies. No veggies to be had. Potato salad and corn are not veggies. They are merely yellow foods that make a body fat. I was really hungry, so I had to eat. I ate some of what was there.

Then the girls wanted to drive the Go Karts, so we went over there. Soon B decided she was too sick to the get behind the wheel of anything. Smart girl. So I took her to find her dad. M rode the Go Karts. Then I did. Then A did, and M again. E was busy playing mini golf by himself. I thought he might like a chance to ride the Go Karts before it was time to go. So I suggested that he go get in line.

Now granted, it was hot, he'd been busy and he does not do well standing up (standing still) for many minutes at a time. He has leg pains. Doctors don't know why. So he cried (Aspie melt down) when he saw the line. I had no patience for his melt down at that point, so Wes waited with him. We assured him that it was just a matter of time, that he'd get his turn soon. I thought he'd be in the next batch of riders. So they waited.

I found B sitting in the hot sun on a bench, practically collapsed from tiredness. She didn't really sleep last night, and we'd interrupted her nap for this fun occasion. I found a shady spot near the go carts where we could sit and we played in the mulch and looked at ants and woodlice while we waited for E to get his ride.

The next group was up. Suddenly I hear a wail. E crying again. I go to investigate. Wes is there with him. Turns out, that Eric was the very next person in line, but that there was no spot for him in this batch of riders. And the man running the thing said this was the LAST group of Appriss people who could ride the go carts.

I WAS SO MAD. They should have blocked the line off at the entrance instead of just telling all these kids who had been waiting in line for so long that they would not get a chance to ride the Go Karts. But no. Just tell them after they are hot and sweaty and waiting for a while. Very nice! E wasn't the only kid crying.

So, NOT a good day for him. I, of course, want to fix it and make it all better, but I can't.

B, meanwhile, wasn't doing well at all and we really had to go, rather than wait around the extra half hour until the place opened to the general public so we could buy E. a Go Kart ride.

E was overheated, very flushed and sweaty with clammy skin. He gets that way. We got drinks and came home. I made homemade pizza for the kids who did not like barbeque or corn on the cob or potato salad (they two youngest), and then I decided that what I needed was some alone time.

So I felt like a nice long slow walk was in order. I decided to go to the zoo. By myself. Yes. I know. I'm weird.

It was OK with everyone (Wes was going to play games with the kids and B was taking a nap) so I took myself off to the zoo for some alone time.

But the zoo was closed. At 2pm on Saturday afternoon????? Darn it, darn it, darn it!!!!!

So I decided to check out a consignment shop my friend keeps telling me about, which I did. It was OK but not wonderful...but really the shop was fabulous, the not wonderful part was me and my fat body. So I went to goodwill and found some shirts for Wes and a bland and boring beige fat person sized hoodie sweater for me this fall. Oh joy.

Then I was completely tired and achy. So I came home and crawled into bed. Fell asleep for a while, and woke up feeling the full force of fibromyalgia upon me. Stayed home from Vespers creeping around the kitchen, I managed to fix dinner instead. (Tuna veggie curry with lemon. I'd done rice in the crock pot before so dinner was quick and easy. I served cut up banana slices and raisins to go with it. Nice complementary flavors.)

I really struggled today, with the food thing. I know this much: Sadness and disappointment makes me want to eat. Restlessness makes me want to eat. Boredom makes me want to eat. It being Saturday makes me want to eat. And when I'm tired and achy from fibro, that makes me want to eat. Going through all these negative emotions and physical pains today I realize it was the perfect storm for some utterly unrestrained food gobbling. I managed, by God's grace, to mostly restrain myself. It is a battle. A real struggle.

I think it's on days like today that the rubber meets the road with our spiritual struggle in life, and it sure is NOT very glamorous.