I like to think of myself as being a "good person". I like to think of myself as being the kid who befriended the class reject in elementary school, and who sought out the misfits and the outcasts to be my friend in High School. (I was probably a misfit and outcast myself and we banded together). I like to remember the times I was bullied in middle school for being...new to America, for being tall...for being the new kid.
But there's another truth about me: I also engaged in bullying behavior when I was a child. Twice.
And this is my public apology.
I don't have any excuse. I was weak and I went along with the crowd. I didn't START anything, but I sure did participate.
There was a little boy name Laurence in Kindergarten. We all ganged up on him on thew way home one day (yes I lived in a time and a place when Kindy kids walked to and from by themselves each day) and stood in a circle around him, taunting him. Some of the kids took swings at him with their lunch satchels. I can't remember if I did nor not. I have no idea WHY we did that. Picking on the weak one, I think.
It is a terrible memory. I did it, and I am sorry.
The other time was a friend named Emma. I was angry about something, and I went along with some physical teasing/bullying. We grabbed her by arms and ankles and swung her back and forth. Her skirt went up. It was a bad day in her life.
I did it, and I am sorry.
If I could reach out personally to these people on a different continent and from a different time, I would tell them directly that I am sorry for my bad behavior. But I can't. All I can do is apologize publicly and trust that the principle of "we reap what we sow" will apply. If it is any consolation, after sewing that, I reaped it, too.
My heartfelt apology is out here in the world now. I bullied you. It was wrong of me. I grew up and I am sorry.