Today Wes went to the radiology Oncologist. I liked the doctor. He was very informative and explained the procedure and process of what Wes is going to be going through over the next six and a half weeks. The most interesting tidbit we learned was the size of Wes' tumor. Back on September 30 when he had is Aphasia episode, and we took him to the ER thinking it was a stroke, the tumor measured 2.3x2cm. On November 21st, less than 2 months later, the MRI they did before the biopsy showed that the tumor measured 3.3x3cm. That is a LOT of growth! And very rapid growth!
I think this knowledge really has hit us hard, making it all real, again, on a whole 'nother level. I shed a few tears, and so did Wes, and so have some of our kids. Each one of us is showing our sadness and fear in different ways, and I'm trying to encourage us to talk a little bit about the fact that people grieve differently from one another and that there is a wrong way and a right way to grieve.
Obviously, the outcome is not guaranteed, one way or another. God is not a vending machine in the sky, and we don't just demand healings from Him, even though we humbly ask.
Jesus also asked that this cup may pass from him, when He was in the garden of Gethsemane,facing his torture and death. But then He prayed "Thy will be done".
And that is the prayer of my life: "Thy will be done."
So, I don't know the future. And that is a good thing, because the future is un-handle-able. But we have grace for the present.
On Thursday Wes will see the medical Oncologist, and be started on oral chemo drugs, in addition to the radiation therapy. Of course he's also going to work daily and working from home when his schedule demands that, since I'm still doing all the driving for now.
Symptoms so far, that we can discern: Words come slower and with more difficulty. Wes misspells things more easily, is more sensitive to noise, and sometimes has trouble singing a tune. He is more run down and gets tired more easily. No headaches yet, thank God, and so far just the one seizure.
Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy.
And my God be glorified. No. Matter. What.