Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Confessions of a Spiritual Lackwit

I feel like I'm in a place in my life where I am slowly moving forward. I know that having more energy than I had heretofore helps a lot with that, although honestly, this week has been a struggle, since I do feel like I'm "down with something vague". Various of my youngsters are feeling the same way, so it is probably not just my imagination.

As a mother, I can see that my kids are growing up and my relationships with them are changing a bit. They are challenging me! It's not always easy but they aren't shy about calling my crap crap, and so I'm trying to work hard on the virtues of gentleness and patience as I parent them through their teen years. I tend, by nature, to be loud and blustery and they don't. like. that. I'm working on it, though. Really, I am.

Sometimes it is hard to be patient with all of their various issues.

We had a big family meeting about meal times over dinner last night. One of my goals it to pre-plan my dinners and lunches, so that I know what's on the menu in advance. This is a shift from having a "pantry full of food" and deciding each day what's going to be for supper.

The problem is, various ones have sensory issues and as is common with so many ASD people, they can. not. eat. food. they. don't. like.

Which leads, too often, to me being a short order cook. I've tried many times to reign in this tendency, and am making that effort once again. The other alternative is that I make the "picky ones" get their own food which results in ill-nourished grumpy kids living on pizza and breakfast cereal. Since I quit buying frozen pizzas, and now that my son is gluten free, we are struggling a bit more with this issue.

[Please, no comments about what you do that works so well to get your youngsters to eat vegetables. If it's out there, I've tried it and it doesn't work well at our house. ASD people are different from Neurotypical people. Hunger will NOT motivate an ASD kid to eat whatever's put in front of him/her. This has been my experience and it holds true for others as well. I asked this on a "Parents of kids with Autism" list and we do, indeed, many of us, have this struggle in common.]

But, glory to God, we came up with about 15 meals that I can prepare and that my family members will ALL eat at least enough from to fill their bellies. That's progress, so we'll be eating the same 15 dinners over and over again. But that's more than having only seven different dinners, so I'm grateful.

This, in the long term, will make calorie counting much easier, will it not? I'll have each meal figured out and just have to plug in those numbers to my daily tally.

Yes, I said it. I'm counting calories these days. I joined an organization called TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly) which is a weight loss support club. It's all very "club-like" with Minutes being read, pledges being said, etc. We even started the meeting with the Pledge of Allegiance. But the group of ladies (most of whom are at least one or two or three decades older than I am) are all very gregarious and funny and welcoming, so I'm glad I joined.

And I've been working on doing a better job on the domestic side of things. That's always a struggle for me, but I'm trying. House work is insanely boring and I'd rather, always and forever, be reading a good book or perusing the internet. But, that work must be done, eh?

I'm sorry I grossed everyone out yesterday. I did not mean to. I honestly thought the whole dental crown incident was hilariously funny and in some grand way I figure that being a sinner and all that, I deserved to be shoveling through that which is such a good metaphor for my sins.

I'm also working on re-establishing my Bible Reading habit. That's a struggle, and it seems perhaps there's some spritual opposition helping along my own laziness and spiritual lackwittedness. But struggle I must so struggle I do. Numbers is SUCH a boring book!!!! I find that I don't much care for the Old least not the dryer parts of the Pentateuch which I studied to death in seminary, and about which feel like I've already gleaned all the good nuggets therefrom. Fight, fight, fight!

And so it all goes.


elizabeth said...

Yay for fighting and family meetings. :) One step and then another...

Tawni M said...

Way to keep up the fight!

I always got bogged down in Joshua when I was trying to read the Bible through... chapters and chapters of land division... yawn... The only time I ever succeeded was when I started in Genesis 1, Psalm 1 and Matthew 1 and read a chapter of each every day. That way, there was usually at least one passage that I could look forward to.

But tell me, as a fellow former theology student, how do you overcome the "yeah, reading this for the 20 millionth time" glazed-over feeling? I have the worst time with that. I'm going to try reading through the NT during Nativity fast this year, hoping that will help me get back in the Scripture more.

Alana said...

Tawni, that "yeah yeah yeah I've read this all SO MANY TIMES BEFORE" is precisely what I struggle with. I am working on a "Read Through the Orthodox Study Bible in a Year" reading plan...

...after this, my plan is to give myself permission to avoid the more dry historical OT books for several years and read the more "devotional" books such as Psalms, Wisom Lit, Prophets and the New Testament faithfully. Key word: Faithfully.

Right now, reading the historical books feels about like folding the laundry: Satisfaction that it got done after the fact, but very rote and boring while I'm doing it.

Janelle thegeekywife said...

I am severely lacking in the spiritual dept... Was thinking last nite that I should TRY to read OT.

Do or do not, there is no try. Book of Yoda. ;)

margaret said...

15 dinners is pretty good, I doubt most people have that variety.