Friday, February 11, 2011

"The Weight"

The way we use language matters. The words we choose are important.

I've always had a problem when hearing people, myself included, refer to obesity as "the weight". As in: "I need to lose 'the weight'." Or "If she could just lose 'the weight' she would be so much healther/prettier/blah blah blah."

As if "the weight" were something that can be peeled off like Eustace's dragon skin in C.S. Lewis' Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Or as if it were a fat suit that could be removed at will. As if "the weight" were something not intrinsic to the person who carries "the weight", intrinsic to that persons's way of being; lifestyle, habits, choices, emotions, choices, responses. As if "the weight" were something other than a part of that person.

But the truth as I see it is (speaking as a person who has a LOT of "the weight" hanging on her body) that until I quit keeping "the weight" at arms length and learn to embrace "the weight" as a part of who I am, intrinsic to myself, until I can do this, I cannot make the necessary changes to let it go.

Because "letting go of the weight" means looking at myself very honestly and asking myself hard questions. It means I have to be honest with myself about my needs, my emotions, my habits, my lifestyle, my choices, my excuses, my way of being in the world. And then I need to examine all those things critically, and then I need to make changes to ME to address the issues that have caused ME to be overweight.

It's nothing more or less that personal growth and change at the very deepest level, that is required.

And without this deep self critical examination and acceptance and willingness to change and move forward, it will always only be another "Diet" instead of a permanent change.

And I'm going for the permanent change, folks. And change is hard, and it has to be on the inside, and I have to be honest and I have to work my butt off. Literally. I know this. I'm ready.

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