Monday, January 25, 2010

Week one: Metabolism Miracle and other stuff

Well, the diet is going really really well. I took some measurements last Monday, and then again on Saturday night. My friends, I have lost over 8 inches! measuring 13 places on my body. Two inches here, and inch and a half there...significant changes. I did not get on the scale at all, which is good, because in the past, that is what has always gotten me so depressed and ready to give up. Who cares what I weigh, if my body is getting smaller, eh?

Food is a tiny bit on the boring side, and I am hungry a little bit, but just because I'm often simply not in the mood to go fetch something that I'm allowed to have. Salad with chicken and cheese was for lunch. It's not torture. And it's a good kind of hungry though, when I am hungry. The kind where I can still function and have energy. My mood is more stable, and I find myself seeking out exercise opportunities voluntarily. I have more energy and I sleep so much better.

Being off the diet for the four days I was at the funeral/and my birthday really got me bloated right back up and had me hardly sleeping and fighting depression. It's good to be back to feeling better, that's for sure.

Week one is down, seven more weeks to go for phase one. I suppose today is Week 2 day 1.

I'm also still loving the Curves workout. "Me time". That sounds so selfish, but taking a half hour a day to give my body the exercise it needs is really helping me to function better, so it's all good, I guess. It's fun because a couple other ladies from my Church go there as well. Sometimes we run into each other and that is nice.

Prayer request: That we can find a really really good doctor for our daughter B. Right now there is no one in-network here in our town, and the ones in Lex that are in network are not taking new patients, so we are having to pay an arm and a leg. She needs better care than that. She's having symptoms again and things are difficult for her, especially since she now also has Tardive Dyskinesia to deal with, on top of everything else. What does God have planned for her? For us? Wes says that she is given to us to teach us to pray.

I wish I were one of these "go getter" moms who had a bunch more fight in her than I do. "Fight" takes energy, and we all know I have low levels of that, three other kids and that I always feel a bit overwhelmed with just the basics of life (that being homeschooling, housework, cooking and scouts and Church), even on my good days. Sometimes I think I need to learn how to set up a non-profit organization or some kind of fund for B and start soliciting donations and doing fundraisers so that we can purchase better medical care for her. I would not even know where to begin, though. God have mercy.

But looking back at last year, my goals were to get E. and M. tested for Autism related stuff, and I did manage to get that accomplished, with the help of God. So perhaps I am starting to formulate a vision for the "next thing" I need to do on the "my kids' health" front. I dunno. Just thinkin'. Sometimes I think it's a cosmic joke that God gave ME special needs kids, because based on the questionable maxim that God only gives hard things to those who can handle it(...which mean's theoretically that "I'm special" (ha!)...or in the case of someone saying it to you it comes across as: "You are special and I'm SO GLAD I'm not" and by the way, that's NOT a helpful thing to say to a parent who is grieving their child's disability), I should be SUPERWOMAN. But I'm not. I barely have enough strength for even an ordinary life.

At least it keeps me humble and praying. That's for sure!


Marigold said...

And we love you :)


Anonymous said...

Ah, I like to make up imaginary responses to the "God will not give you more than you can handle" comments. Let us see, how about "Have you read Exodus because those Israelites sure seem to think God has given them more than they can handle and it seems like he did that on purpose." Or "man, God must think the people in (insert war torn or earthquake devastated place here) are supermen then!" Or "I don't know, it seems to me there are a lot of people in the world who have been given a lot more than they were able to handle and it shows."

The best note of comfort I ever received simply said: "Oh how great and terrible is the mystery of God." Moving in the mystery with you. Will do an akathist now for B.

love you -R

Alana said...

I like that, R! Thanks for the comment and the prayers.

elizabeth said...

Oh Alana, I am so sorry to hear about this added struggle for B.

Yeah, this is a lot and I can understand why you would feel overwhelmed.


We have a moleben for healing at my church this wednesday; B name (and yours and you other two's) name will be on it.

sending you my love!