Thursday, November 12, 2009

Off Balance

I'm feeling stressed this morning and I can't quite figure out why.

Other than the fact that my back is hurting. A Lot. Put ice on it last night, and went to the chiropractor yesterday evening. I may just have to break out the TENS unit, but how will I wear that without a waistband to clip it to if I'm wearing my brown dress?

Ever have one of those days when you just can't get your head around much of anything? My week's been like that. A muddle.

Perhaps I'm stressed out about the upcoming Nativity Fast. I have not taken the time yet to figure out a menu plan. Quite frankly, I'm scared of it. I need to eat more vegetables and less bread this time around. Yeah. Famous last words.

I've pretty much given up on ever in my life "getting healthy" or "losing weight". All my efforts in that arena are too short lived and too much in vain. You know, if I'm going to be hungry every day for hours on end I need to see some motivating results. Whether it's a character flaw or not, I don't know, but I just don't have the gumptitude to be hungry for hours on end every day and NOT be losing weight. It will be interesting to see what my endocrinologist says. He says I have all the symptoms of low thyroid, and now we are waiting on some blood work. Sigh. As crazy as it sounds, I really really hope something shows up there because as it is, I"m living with ALL the symptoms of having an ill-functioning thyroid, and the way I figure it, if I have all the symptoms, I may as well have the problem and get some meds for it.

And with exercise, it's the ever present issue: I try for a while, and then I hit the ol' fibromyalgia wall where I barely have energy to get through the day, and I'm in pain of some sort, and before I know it it's two weeks later and just as unfit as ever.

And despite my best intentions, I have not been to Matins more than once this week. I've been staying up too late in the evenings. It's a vicious cycle and I can't seem to break it. When the alarm goes off, all I can think of is how long the fatigued afternoon will stretch before me if I get up, and then I turn it off and go back to sleep for an hour (or two).

All the kids have been dealing with colds this week, so no one is in the mood to do math or least not with a good attitude.

OK, so I've shared all my little personal stresses with the entire internet. I feel a bit better.


Tabitha said...

De-lurking to sympathize. We've been fighting colds too. It's amazing how a small thing like that really takes it out of everyone's emotional reserves. Everything becomes more of a struggle. I had to put my annoying alarm clock in the kitchen to make sure I would actually get up on time! We've been at this for over a week now. I am hopeful that the end is in sight. Here's hoping you all get well soon and may your fibro give you a break for the holidays!

thegeekywife said...

Here's a virtual hug from a total stranger


Tara said...

I've only recently started reading your blog but wanted to let you know something. A friend of mine had been diagnosed with fibro. She suffered badly. She was also low-thyroid and had been for years. After finding a new endo who adjusted her thyroid meds and put her on both T4 and T3 thyroid her fibro went away. She has had to go off her thyroid meds since then while undergoing some other treatments. When she does all her fibro symptoms come back full force. I pray your endo is very knowledgable and willing to work with you.