Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Unfounded Fears

There are so many Scriptures in which we are told not to be afraid: "Do not fear, for I am with you."

And yet, so much of the time, my imagination gets the best of me, and I'm afraid of something or other. I especially don't like new situations or encounters and can spend all kinds of mental energy imagining the worst. Those prayers about evil fantasies definitely apply to this sort of thinking, in my case.

Today I had scheduled a meeting with two public school people (a coordinatoar and a speech therapist) to go over the application for speech testing that I sent in on behalf of my second daughter.

I was so nervous. For one thing, the person who scheduled the meeting implied they were going to poke their noses into the "core content" of what I'm doing to educate my daughter. Yipes. I spent at least one day wigging out and in tears over my perceived home-schooling-mom imperfections and lack of perfect organizational skills. There's always the question "Am I doing enough?" lurking in the background of my life. And yet, I literally cannot do one. more. thing. So I always have that stress. I think most home schooling moms do.

But guess what: Those fears were unfounded. I put together a small portfolio of M's best work (and her best work is brilliant writing, both fiction and non-fiction), and all went very very smoothly.

No one asked about anything I was doing, and when I offered the writing samples, the teachers were over the moon impressed with her writing and said it ought to get published and that she should become a novelist.

And they were friendly and it was no big deal that I was home schooling. There are loads of home schooling students who go into public schools to get speech therapy or to get evaluations of one type or another. Apparently they do it all the time.

I should trust God a little bit more, to go before me. And I should not questions quite so much what I'm doing around here from day to day.

I wonder if the next time I'm afraid about something, I'll remember the lessons of today?

5 comments:

elizabeth said...

yeah. i have to learn this too...

my love to you this night!

Amber said...

I think the fear itself sometimes cuts off the part of our mind that would remind us that God is there, and that He said He would support us.

I've no idea how to get around this, but it's something all of us could work on, I think.

Also, congratulations to your daughter! And I hope that her testing and/or therapy goes well.

RL said...

Thanks for the reminder. I needed to be reminded of this today.

Blessings!

Anonymous said...

I'm going to let you in on a secret (speaking as a public school teacher): As long as your children are learning and it is in a way that is best for them, it doesn't matter to us how they are schooled.

Relax. :)

geekywife said...

Can you please tell me more about this: "Those prayers about evil fantasies". I too struggle with fear and my imagination seems to get the best of me.

Thanks so much! Keep us updated on the speech therapy.

Janelle the geekywife