There are so many Scriptures in which we are told not to be afraid: "Do not fear, for I am with you."
And yet, so much of the time, my imagination gets the best of me, and I'm afraid of something or other. I especially don't like new situations or encounters and can spend all kinds of mental energy imagining the worst. Those prayers about evil fantasies definitely apply to this sort of thinking, in my case.
Today I had scheduled a meeting with two public school people (a coordinatoar and a speech therapist) to go over the application for speech testing that I sent in on behalf of my second daughter.
I was so nervous. For one thing, the person who scheduled the meeting implied they were going to poke their noses into the "core content" of what I'm doing to educate my daughter. Yipes. I spent at least one day wigging out and in tears over my perceived home-schooling-mom imperfections and lack of perfect organizational skills. There's always the question "Am I doing enough?" lurking in the background of my life. And yet, I literally cannot do one. more. thing. So I always have that stress. I think most home schooling moms do.
But guess what: Those fears were unfounded. I put together a small portfolio of M's best work (and her best work is brilliant writing, both fiction and non-fiction), and all went very very smoothly.
No one asked about anything I was doing, and when I offered the writing samples, the teachers were over the moon impressed with her writing and said it ought to get published and that she should become a novelist.
And they were friendly and it was no big deal that I was home schooling. There are loads of home schooling students who go into public schools to get speech therapy or to get evaluations of one type or another. Apparently they do it all the time.
I should trust God a little bit more, to go before me. And I should not questions quite so much what I'm doing around here from day to day.
I wonder if the next time I'm afraid about something, I'll remember the lessons of today?