Thursday, April 23, 2009


Well, great and holy Pascha came and went last weekend. Complete with staying up all night on Saturday night/Sunday morning, many many hours throughout Holy Week of standing on a carpeted concrete slab in the choir loft, and loads of time at home cooking for the feast. I think I was quite worn out by Friday and just kept pushing beyond that.

At least I felt pretty in my Pascha outfit. And we had a great time at the St. Athanasius Pascha Pic Nic on Sunday.

But I've learned one thing: I will never again make that special pascha cheese. I just won't. My cheese turned out lovely. It was/is yummy. But guess what: I'm the ONLY person in my family who is eating it. (That would be like baking an entire cheescake and eating the whole thing yourself.) So. Not. Good. For. The. Waistline. And no, I have NOT been deliberately overeating. Just like: There it is, I might as well eat that instead of something more nutritious and less fattening.

Seems there's never such a thing as deliberately overeating in my life. I'm always able to justify eating with a stomach growl or two. But I'm not one to eat three bites and be done, either. There is only (mind the distinction now) a lack of deliberately under eating (which is actually probably not at all under, but right on the money and my bad habits (sins) are to blame for the rest. Unless I am actually doing the latter (tracking every calorie), then I'm eating too much. Automatically and without any awareness. I hate hate hate that about myself. I am trying to become more aware.

So, needless to say this week has been spent in tears, exhaustion, depression and despair. Lovely person, aren't I?

I did take the kids to the zoo yesterday and we all had a lovely time. Then, when we came home I was too tired to cook dinner and I had everyone eating things like cereal and milk. Could have been worse, I guess. Next time I'll plan a crock pot meal before going to the zoo.

And we have a water leak on the floor of our kitchen. I'm constantly shop-vacing up the puddle. Maintenance says it's either a slab leak (hello jack hammer and goodbye kitchen) or a leak in the drain pipe from upstairs (good bye second bathroom for a while).

I just don't relish the process of that particular repair. But, it will happen eventually. They said they were coming in on Monday. Monday they said Tuesday and now it's Thursday and I've not seen hide nor hair of them the past few days. Whatever. At our old house repairs went undone forever, too. At least here I don't have to pay for it.

Oh yeah, and we had to hire a dryer repair man this week, too, to fix the belt on our dryer.

So, it's been a week, let me tell ya. And it's only Thursday. Sorry this is not more uplifting. If you want uplifting and spiritual, I recommend the blog Glory to God for All Things. See the link in my side bar.


Prisca said...

I am so with you on the eating thing--starting to really think about food addiction...ugh. Not good. I am just out of control and it is so hard to have any self discipline where food is concerned.

Anyway, i feel your pain!!! ((HUGS))

Amber said...

Eating: Well, I don't ever intend to overeat either, but I snack when I'm bored, or reading, or studying. It's, though it does sound a little dirty, I guess, I'm orally fixated. I like to have things in my mouth. Why? Who can tell. But I can't have cookies or things in the house, because I will snack on those before fruit or veggies, and I try now to be chewing some sugar free gum or something, and have water with me all the time, so I can satisfy that urge without adding calories. It's hard, and I have to make a conscious effort at it. And I do find that keeping count of the calories I eat helps too. I'll wander past the snack machine at work, look at the stuff, and think about the billion calories it would add...and keep on walking.

Mimi said...

Christ is Risen!

You know, I made my peace years ago with just eating other's Paska and I'm fine with that.

And, I kinda hope it's the bathroom not the kitchen.

Marsha said...

so glad to know I wasn't the only one with a crappy, irritable, depressing post-Pascha week LOL!!
Ummmm, I'd like to try the cheese whatever....I love cheese anything LOL.

Amber, I used to be like that, I think I've shifted my addiction to the computer. I rarely sit and read, I run in here and hit the keyboard instead...still an addiction, though, a distraction, a compulsion. Urgh!!

Amy said...

I can't pay anyone in my family to eat the Pascha cheese or bread. I don't know why. They like other things that are very similar to it, but they just won't eat it. So, this year, I ate some and then threw the rest away. As I pushed it into the disposal, my inner frugalness screamed that it was such a waste, but I knew that I would eat it if I didn't do it. So, next year, no Pascha cheese. :(

We left all tradition behind in our Pascha basket this year anyway. We had Kentucky Fried Chicken and deviled eggs. It was yummy in our tummies. :)

elizabeth said...

yeah the post-Pascha week can alway be hard.

glad you are having the apartment people pay for it, even though they are slow.

hang in there! sending you my love from Ottawa!

Fr. John McCuen said...

Christ is risen!

We didn't begin to eat the "Syrnaya Pascha" (I think I said that right), aka "cheesecake without the cake" until after the ice cream was gone. Fortunately, everyone at home likes it, so we'll finish it off... probably just in time to find that someone has brought their leftovers for the dessert table at the meal together after liturgy on Thomas Sunday... I'll politely decline a serving, and then be served some anyway...

Having "super-sized" myself more than a few years ago, and fighting a losing "battle of the bulge" ever since, I can certainly appreciate the dilemma many here share: eating for reasons other than nourishment. I'm as guilty as anyone! Yet even so, the correct -- and Orthodox -- response, once we've identified the behavior and acknowledged we need to change, is to plan out for ourselves a strategy so that, when those moments hit where the automatic response is to put something in the mouth, either we don't; or, we put in something that will not be harmful to us. Around here, that means, among other things, that the "goodies" we bought to celebrate Pascha -- ice cream and chips in particular -- will not be replaced once we've finished what's on hand. It means that we'll stock up on veggies and cheese sticks (protein to balance the carbs, don'tcha know!) for between meal munchies; and return to using portion control techniques, such as not serving the food "family style."

Whatever works for you, do it! Be sure as well to address the situation prayerfully each day, and confess your failures as needed; and hang in there!