Monday, February 09, 2009

Of Snippetiness and Salvation

I spent the weekend on muscle relaxers and as much lying down as possible. My back is out, and it's such a drag. (Mostly for the people who have to live with me, I'm afraid.)

Muscle relaxers make me snippety and very grumpy. Probably they just bring out my true character, I think. I think me being on muscle relaxers makes my husband snippety and grumpy, too. So it's been one of those weekends. Not fighting, really, but lots of snippetiness and grumpiness. Walking a tightrope of misunderstanding.

I did get the book read for book group: The Meaning of Suffering and Strife and Reconciliation by Archimandrite Seraphim Aleksiev.

It was interesting reading that book while in rather significant pain. Ha ha. While being on the verge of a lack of peace with one's spouse. Ha ha ha.

So I am even more convicted of my sin of snippetiness (I think it's real moniker is selfishness and self-pity). It begets a restlessness that is not at peace. I kept searching for something that would make my restlessness all better. Perhaps if Wes were nicer, or more attentive, if the kids were better, if people could read my mind and clean up the house better...All these selfish thoughts and feelings, when the reality of the situation is that it just is. And that whether I'm in pain or not, God is still God and I must seek HIM with all my heart, and love HIM with all my heart mind, soul and strength.

Anything less and I will remain snippety and unsatisfied, even when all around me might be going my way.

And I'm thinking that if I can learn to rise above the self pity and the selfishness, I will have accomplished something grand.

And, blessed be, I have a chiropractor's appointment in one and a half hours. Yaaaaay!

4 comments:

Mimi said...

I hope the chiro fixes you right up. Prayers.

elizabeth said...

Hope you feel better.

I understand the inward struggle you describe. sigh. Lord have mercy on us all!

Love to you.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on the muscle relaxers, I decided I would rather be in pain than tired and lost all the time. I'm also with you on the "could I just get through one moment without saying I want x, or if only y." Lord have mercy.

-Rachel, from St. Michael's and knitting group

Mary Montgomery said...

Okay so you're in a tiff about too much homeschooling the house being a mess and the chiro guy doing little to help. So first get some Biofreeze gel and rub it on all the places that hurt. Take resveratol as an anti-inflammatory as well as 5htp and possibly valerian root. Be careful if you take SSri's on a regular basis one has got to go.
Then be grateful (as you are) to be able to stay home w/ the kids in the first place. Say thankyou Jesus that while my back is 'out' I don't have a lot of church things to do that I would have to say 'no' to anyway.
And if none of the above works go into your room and interceed for me who is struggling old age and issues that should have been solved 20yrs. ago and a husband too old and infirm to keep in the style I have (wish) been used to.
All of the above is sound medical advice--I am not a Dr. but I did play one on TV! Love