I spent the weekend on muscle relaxers and as much lying down as possible. My back is out, and it's such a drag. (Mostly for the people who have to live with me, I'm afraid.)
Muscle relaxers make me snippety and very grumpy. Probably they just bring out my true character, I think. I think me being on muscle relaxers makes my husband snippety and grumpy, too. So it's been one of those weekends. Not fighting, really, but lots of snippetiness and grumpiness. Walking a tightrope of misunderstanding.
I did get the book read for book group: The Meaning of Suffering and Strife and Reconciliation by Archimandrite Seraphim Aleksiev.
It was interesting reading that book while in rather significant pain. Ha ha. While being on the verge of a lack of peace with one's spouse. Ha ha ha.
So I am even more convicted of my sin of snippetiness (I think it's real moniker is selfishness and self-pity). It begets a restlessness that is not at peace. I kept searching for something that would make my restlessness all better. Perhaps if Wes were nicer, or more attentive, if the kids were better, if people could read my mind and clean up the house better...All these selfish thoughts and feelings, when the reality of the situation is that it just is. And that whether I'm in pain or not, God is still God and I must seek HIM with all my heart, and love HIM with all my heart mind, soul and strength.
Anything less and I will remain snippety and unsatisfied, even when all around me might be going my way.
And I'm thinking that if I can learn to rise above the self pity and the selfishness, I will have accomplished something grand.
And, blessed be, I have a chiropractor's appointment in one and a half hours. Yaaaaay!