Well, Monday is not my least favorite day of the week. I generally like the fact that after a busy weekend (and this weekend was particularly busy!) I get to just be at home and do the things I do around here.
Today is a little bit different, though, since the coming Thanksgiving holiday requires a major clean-fest. I plan to have the house spotless, since I have in-laws coming, and that includes a baby and a toddler. I don't want anything dangerous or gross lying about, if you know what I mean.
And I don't like to clean, but must do it. So, here I go...
Why am I such a reluctant hostess? Hospitality is difficult for me, and even more so for my reclusive husband. So, it falls to my shoulders, if we ever have anyone over for a meal, or anything like that. And having people spending the night gives me anxiety.
I guess it's because all my feelings of inadequacy come to the forefront, and I feel the oddness that is our life. And I wonder what others will think, or whether their particular needs will get met while they are here. I'm not the type of woman who will have her cloth napkins and table linens ironed for the big day, but they will be clean and on the table, at least. But truth be told, my home is very humble and that is the part that I'm slightly embarrassed about. I'm too materialistic and I can't ignore that part of me as much when folks are coming over. In my eyes, my stuff is never as nice as someone else's stuff. I'm too attached to the things of this world, see?
So today my job is to try and de-stress, and to pray about those feelings while I clean. I think if I can get this house clean, guide my children in helping me, and do it without losing my temper, without stressing out unnecessarily, and without forgetting to pray, and without feeling sorry for myself, I will have accomplished something very big. Invisible, but very big.
Perhaps St. Martha can teach me something. And perhaps her sister, St. Mary, can teach me something as well. Holy friends of Christ, pray for me!