Monday, September 10, 2007

House Elves

I'm convinced I have house elves living with me. Unfortunately, they aren't the good kind who smooth out the domestic situation. No, these are evil house elves.

The evil house elves leave bags full of stuff that should be put away on the floor instead, forgetting all about them.

The evil house elves don't bend over and pick stuff like cardigan sweaters or used socks off the floor for days on end.

The evil house elves tend to leave stacks of books on the coffee table and papers piled high on the brown table in the living room.

The evil house elves don't believe in de-cluttering at all, judging by the state of things.

Evil house elves like to read.

Evil house elves like to draw lots of pictures of manga princesses and pokemon characters and leave said artwork on the couch.

Evil house elves would rather cook than clean.

Evil house elves don't like to clear the breakfast dishes off the table.

Evil house elves would rather be on the computer.

Evil house elves can only be persuaded to clean the bathroom when it's very hairy and gross.

Evil house elves don't dust.

Evil house elves like to read. I mentioned that. But these evil house elves REALLY like to read.

Evil Yard Gnomes have neglected the yard. The grass needs to be cut.

Evil house elves leave dirty laundry on the floors of their rooms.

Evil house elves are behind on folding laundry.

I think this house is rather infested. I'd say about six very evil house elves live here.

And to make matters worse, these are ORTHODOX evil house elves, who have been very busy at Church all weekend and thus their evil house elvishness is exacerbated.

Whatever shall I do?

8 comments:

John Nicholas said...

Exorcism? ;-)

Jillian said...

Mr Friend!

The bothersome question for me is this: just WHEN did those six evil house elves have the time to go and do THAT to your house when they are ever so busy doing THAT to MY house!!!!

AAARRGGGHHH!

Laughing my head off!

Jillian

Amy said...

I agree, those evil house elves must really get around, or maybe they've got friends all over. We probably have half a dozen over here. They do all that plus stuff like hide all the screwdrivers and the hammer and use all the TP without telling anyone. I think the cat is allergic to the elves; they make her throw up. :)

Kimberly said...

Oh bother, I think you're talking about me!

Meg said...

In Russian they're called "domovie" (doh-moh-VEE-ye), so obviously, they're an international phenomenon. Ours has moved with us everywhere we went. :-(

Anonymous said...

Where is Dobby when you need him!?!


I have one here too, they tend to travel in packs!!

Joi

Tamara said...

Ha! I was just reading "The Shoemaker and the Elves" to Mara and I realized that their fatal error was returning kindness.

Until the shoemaker's wife made the elves the little clothes, the elves kept making awesome shoes. But, after that, they left and never came back.

Moral: Don't make clothes for little elves who help, but go ahead and try it for evil ones you want to go away!!

Anonymous said...

I've got some, too! Only mine draw pictures of robots instead of manga princesses...