Monday, August 06, 2007


"Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And besides Thee I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and heart are weak and may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

...weak and may fail. That's where it's at today. God is my portion, but my dishwasher is on the fritz again, and so is my oven. I get lots of gas smell and a very slow preheat time. Sometimes I wish that God would portion himself towards me in a more material, fix-it, handymanish sort of way. Know what I mean?

The back door lock is broken, along with my dishwasher and dying oven. And the screen on the back keeps popping off, and my AC does not work and as of right now neither does our furnace. There is a big evil countdown clock in my brain counting down to the first weekend in October when it will get cold (it's always that weekend that we need heat.)

My house is always dilapidated. And no one to fix it. or way. Oh, I just Discovered a way. In fact, I have a Visa to travel to that country. Perhaps I will rid there on The American Express????? That's such a bad road.

I'm just sick and tired of living on planet earth. And don't write to me about at least I have two hands and I can wipe my own....@$$. Some people don't have hands. I know that. Some people don't have food, or children, or food to feed their children. Or husbands, even the non-fix-it-types. I know, I know. Loads of people have it way worse than I do.

But my own stresses are real to me. And I'm wondering just what Christ's Transfiguration has to do with my dishwasher and oven and fibro and other unbloggable stresses.


DebD said...

(((hugs))) my friend.

saunca said...

Hi a fellow sister in Christ who has struggled with chronic illness for 12 years, I can at least relate. Sometimes I think the only reason I get through each day is because God carries me...other times I wonder passionately what my daily suffering has to do with God. What is His purpose? What is mine? Take care and know that you give strength to many people who read your blog.

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel. When it rains, it tends to pour. Your feelings are valid and real because you are going through them. Our own emotions are in a way our cross to bear. We are judged on how we handle them. You are an amazing woman Alana! You are loved!
Love, Joi

Mimi said...

Happy Feast Day, and I also send you my hugs.