For some reason, I've really been struggling with loneliness this summer. I've tried to organize a weekly play date for the kids to get together with other kids from our parish, and for the moms to have a chance to chat, and while the mom chatting has been nice, for the kids its been a bust. Meanness. Ugliness and isolation.
I know my kids aren't the coolest. So, I'm trying to figure out what to do.
I also wish I had a mid-week prayer service to go to that is close by. I like a good forty-five minutes from Church, an hour during rush hour, and that's what driving to Wednesday night Vespers is. I only go when I'm teaching catechism. Which has been twice so far. Many Wednesdays, our parish only prays an Akathist, or something short like that, and the drive just kills my motivation to go down there for something that lasts less than half the time of a one-way drive.
I checked out the other two Orthodox parishes in town and neither of then do anything mid-week. Sigh.
I look around at how much energy other people have and how much I don't have, and I feel isolated in that way, too.
I don't really know what God wants for me, or from me (and my kids) during this time of aloneness. Something that I was really looking forward to with my parish has been tabled and is not going to pan out. That was going to be my "thing"....and the door closed on it. Please pray for me not to be angry or resentful, but rather to let it go and to let God have this bit of grief.