Monday, February 19, 2007

Lent

And so Lent has begun.

I keep asking myself what that's going to mean for me this year, and I keep coming up with one thing: same old same old.

Same being stuck at home with no car.
Same taking care of my niece a couple of days a week.
Same being with my kids.
Same homeschooling.
Same cramming all my errands into Saturdays and showing up at Vespers exhausted.
Same isolation.
Same unfulfilled longing for more prayers with my community of believers.
Same desire for more of God.
Same sins.
Same confessions.
Same body.
Same spirit and soul.
Same food. I'm SO SICK of the food I eat. Same old same old. Day after day.


My struggle must be against self pity, among other things.

So, every thing's the same, but somehow everything just got harder, too. I'd best be casting myself upon God's mercy in that case, I suppose.

There's nothing much worth saying coming from my direction. I keep debating whether I need to quit the internet for Lent. I'm still thinking about it. Have not decided yet.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yep. Me too. except I do have a car on most days. I don't think I'll be able to make it to church until thursday. missed forgiveness vespers. I'm the only one in my house keeping the fast. Busy busy busy. God be merciful on us.

Anonymous said...

I have some of the same issues you mention, some that are different. I have been wallowing in self-pity lately. Nothing seemed to help much and nothing to look forward to.

But, at the risk of sounding "super spiritual" (I'm anything BUT), something did seem to break loose for me after forgiveness vespers on Sunday. I was able to make a rededication to 'picking up my cross and following.'

I'm tired of this cross, I see no end to the burden. And the reality is, there just may not be. This I know: the Lord has given me the strength thus far; I trust He will do so always.

Trudging uphill ... may He be merciful!