Not so good.
One of the symptoms of fibro is depression, and that is what I've been fighting for the past few weeks. And an evil headache that does not want to leave.
I did a blocking test, which is like the "Crazy Ivan" of the guai protocol...I upped my dose to see if I'm blocking on something like shea butter. Shea butter is a plant product but butters are supposedly salicylate free or low enough in sals not to be a problem, and supposedly won't interfere with guaifenesin's activity on my fibro...but I got's me lots of dry skin and stretch marks and so I've been using it heavily.
So, I'm doing a blocking test. Upped my dosage. Today will REALLY tell, because I'm not using the shea butter today. If yesterday was any indication, I'm NOT blocking, because the thing I'm looking for is an increase in symptoms. If I were blocking my symptoms would stay the same.
Yesterday was miserable. I was in alot of pain and by the time I got home from Church, the fatigue was unbearable, except I was not sleepy. I just could not move: my muscles were very very stiff and very very fatigued and I was having the random pain thing, too. OK, that bodes well for my continued shea butter use.
The other thing that's been going on is that I'm lonely. My marriage is great. And that's about all that is great. For weeks on end, this has been happening: I get my food at common meal at Church, I sit down, and the table around me stays empty. What, do I have horns growing out of my head????? Do I have bad breath? No, just a cane and a tired look on my face.
But I go to Church and I intentionally think kind thoughts about everyone. I pray for people. I love them. I get up and try to help with set up or clean up. I'm nice to the babies. I smile as much as I can. I go out of my way to make new folks and visitors feel welcome. And it feels like a flippin' junior high lunch room experience where I'm alone at the reject table. And no, I'm not sitting in the far corner, either. Week after week...an empty table in the middle of a very crowded fellowship hall. My husband joins me when he gets in there from helping to do treasury stuff, and even HE notices. He joins me, so it's me and him, alone.
And everyone is making grand plans, get togethers, pizza parties, birthday parties for their kids, etc.
And we are not welcome.
What is God trying to teach me here? I'm open to finding out, learning my lesson and getting on with things. Because this has been going on for some time now, and it hurts.
Holy St. Xenia, fool for Christ, pray for me!