Defeated (aka #%$#%$ Bootstraps)

I give up. You win. Now go away!

Not you, the reader. I"m speaking of life's difficulties. Especially the long-term financially annoying kind that involve major home repairs.

Our gutters were baaaad. So we go to get them replaced. And our back porch roof was leaking. It got contracted on the same job. You see, water leaking into the formerly dry crawl space has so much long term potential for mold and damage, our house has been getting more and more dilapidated as time goes by and nary a handyman in the bunch here at our house...

Well, yesterday while the workers were doing the front gutters, lo and behold: They find termite damage, especially on the boards that were the worst water damaged.

I can't say I'm very surprised. But now we get to do a termite inspection and get treated for those buggers. I know it won't be as expensive as the gutter work, but still.

Nothing minus something equals debt. Debt and more debt.

It's like you gotta put a roof over the head, and you gotta have a car to get to work, and it's always pinching and always never enough...and I get so sick of self-righteous rich people who can moralize about how bad it is to shop at Walmart! Who turn organic eating and ecologically correct living into their theology, their acts of righteousness and their holiness, and whose superb evidence of godliness is good financial management, no chronic illness and no debt.

Somehow, that's not the gospel, either.

What's the line between poor and poor? It's all shades of gray. I am not delusional enough to think that we are really poor (after all, we have DSL!), but all I have to do is walk three blocks and there it is. Literally. And yet, it lurks. Feels like it's ever waiting to pounce. I just feel defeated and I want to curl up and cry.


Anita said…
Yes, it's all shades of gray, the lines are blurry. It's hard to tell who the rich and poor are. Those who live in big houses and appear wealthy often have less cash than some that live in modest homes. For many of us financial management means debt management. Most of us can't get by on one income. Curling up and crying seems like the only option sometimes. Sigh.
Laura said…
I'm sorry...we've been there and done that so many times...

I will pray for you. I wish I could do more.
Mimi said…
Ugh. I'm so sorry.
Xenia Kathryn said…
Great point about the rich folks who do the "organic shopping"...

I feel your pain.
sockmonk said…
And have you heard about the newest version of eco-guilt? Some rich folks are trying to become "carbon neutral" so that they supposedly contribute no *net* CO2 to the atmosphere. This means buying and driving a hybrid car, making your home super energy efficient so you're not using too much fuel, and then, THEN you figure out how much you're still emitting. With that number, you go buy carbon credits from some environmentalist non-profit, who will use it to do something to reduce carbon emissions by that much somewhere else in the world, maybe by planting trees, or building overnight housing at rest stops so that truck drivers don't run their engines all night to stay warm, or making something somewhere use less energy.

But I'm sure they don't count their share of emissions caused by trucks taking goods to stores for them to purchase. Or the emissions from their private jets flying around the world. And even so... bah, I could go on.

The thing with financial setbacks, is that they're only financial setbacks, they can only hurt us in this life, and then only for a little. "Fear not the one who can hurt the body..." Termites can't get to the treasure stored in heaven. We have much to thank God for. Glory to God for all things.
alana said…
Oh Sockmonk! Such good words! I'm glad I married you!

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