Friday, May 12, 2006

I can't stand it

I don't fit in anywhere. I have no friends in this town and I hardly ever get to see the friends I do have who live half an hour away. Please, no advice about finding friends in this town. Please. It's not them, it's me. I. Just. Don't. Fit. I don't think I'm a very nice person.
Don't fit on the net either. Everyone seems to have a cozy place to be, chat boards, etc. But not me. I just don't fit.
I don't fit
I don't fit
I don't fit
this blog post is stupid and I don't fit.

blech. I"m posting it anyways. We can't all be farting sunshine and roses all the time now can we?

9 comments:

Laura said...

I feel that way often. Weird and somewhat socially inept. In some ways, that's not a bad thing...

I do think you have a supportive "presence" on the net though, if that makes sense. Phillipa linked your poem the other day, after all!

And no...we can't all fart sunshine and roses all the time. I appreciate the honesty!

Philippa said...

*Far sunshine and roses*

I LOVE that! LOVE IT! May I borrow it? I'll give you props. I promise.

Not fitting is a constant feeling for me too. I never have. Not even in my own nuclear family. Ever. And it's worse now.

Lonely.

Simply Victoria said...

yes, I can sympathize. I have felt this way often. still do.

Margi said...

Sometimes it's you and sometimes it is them. And the advice you get about making friends is usually stupid, either you click with someone or you don't but, as Laura said, sometimes being socially inept/deprived is a blessing. I've just been reading St Tikhon of Zadonsk on solitude and wondering why I bother to care about being socially useless.

Amy said...

That cracked my up, Alana. Thank you for posting that anyway, because I would have been chicken and deleted it. I've done so plenty of times.

DollyMama said...

Well I've known you for a long time now and I can say that you ARE a nice person (although I think I could do even better than NICE or ya!).

People are hard to connect with for many reasons. It's hard.....

Susan said...

I've been reading your blog for a long time, off and on.
I am 50 something, and mother of three, grandmother of 4.
I work part-time, and have a wonderful husband, home etc.
But I often feel as you wrote.
I have lived in the same house for 32 years.
I think some of us just march to the beat of a different drummer.
I am happy you wrote this blog.
It makes me feel like I wrote it.
I grow so weary of the Mary Sunshines of the world.
Susan

Mimi said...

I think you fit just fine, but I know of the feeling you speak of.

TrishinOz said...

Gosh, I can really feel for you today...I am a misfit most of the time...at least in my mind!

However do you make small talk? I would love to know.

Lonely..on the inside..well nearly!

I am in my 60's still looking for that place to be me...safely.

Sometimes it makes one look inward to what is really important.

Best of all it can make you very accepting of others foibles and personalities...eventually...! Ha!

Love your honesty and understand the frustration. Brave lady to tell it like you see/feel it. You made me laugh.