Monday, April 03, 2006

I'm fine, really

Perhaps some of my blog readers are wondering if my husband beat me to death, or something horrid like that. First of all, he's simply not the sort to do that sort of thing. He rarely even ever raises his voice. Second of all, no one was in a car wreck, or anything like that.

So, why did I make it all go away? Well, it's an issue I've been mulling over, precipitated by a rather NASTY anonymous comment on this blog before I deleted it. I won't go into the details of the comment, but just like most things: it may have been meant to just be nasty and hurt me, but it DID contain a grain of truth, namely that it's important to maintain good boundaries when blogging about one's kids.

It may seem all innocent when they are wee, and we like to brag to the world about the latest cute thing they said, how they garbled the "Our Father", or what their current cute-isms are. It's all so cute.

But then they grow. And growing kids sometimes are less than perfect, and life is less than perfect. And sometimes life really throws you for a loop, and you, as a parent, are left just barely catching your breath because you are so surprised by everything that you never dreamed would happen in your life and in your kid's life.

In my case, I always knew something was different...I just did not know how the "different" would affect us all. How the different would change when adolescence hit. I"m not going to say more about that, because I do want to maintain good boundaries.

So, I will strive to not blog about my kids, or this particular area of stress in my life, which will be hard, because it is very large and much-encompasing. But not all encompasing.

I also don't want to blog about life with fibromyalgia on this blog, either. That would bore everyone to tears. Check out my fibroweather blog for that.

So, what's a blogger to do? I don't know. But I'm sure I will think of SOMETHING, eventually.

Blessed Lent to all.


Meg said...

I'm a little concerned that this nasty comment about not blogging about your children has led to your decision not to write about them at all. Frankly, that's what most maternal bloggers write about. I personally find it very helpful to read about other people's autistic/"aspie" kids. I've written about mine, and that was how he learned that he had the condition; he wasn't too happy with my not telling him, until I explained that we only found out it existed when he was 21 years old, and what were we supposed to do about it by then?! Since then he's been relieved to read about it and realize that he's not the only soul on the planet who has this condition, and that it's not all bad, not at all. But mothers who deal with their young children's heartbreak, when the kids go to school, need all the help they can get from one another, and if Ms. Nastygram can't grasp that -- send her to me. I've dealt with her kind before!

Mimi said...

Yay! It's good to see you back.

Philippa said...

I applaud your efforts of establishing boundaries. I think you are right to do so.

So what does that lead you to blog about? Well, current events, a book you're reading, the weather, a favorite flower, the dust bunnies under your bed, all sorts of stuff like that.

Simply Victoria said...

good to see you back.

The Traditional Frog said...


First, a blessed Lent to you!

Second, Believe me, Alana, I can personally relate to you and your family's frustrations regarding Asperger Syndrome. I should know as one who has it. I do find being in certain social situations awkward. However, I see it more as a social learning disorder. Or as I light heartedly call it my "open mouth, insert foot" disease!

May Our Lord Bless you and your family.

Brian Underwood

Tamara said...

Good to see you back!

abayea said...

I am so glad that you are back! I struggle with blogging boundaries which is part of why I didn't post for a year. So hopefully you and I will find a good middle ground between boring and revealing.

Blessed Lent! (we're almost there!)

Jasmine said...

I missed you! I never have been bored by your blog, even the fibromyalgia stuff. I have a friend here with fibromyalgia, and I even referred her to your site, and tell her when you've posted something interesting regarding the illness. It helps me to understand what she's going through as well. I wish blogging were a little bit easier. It's such a fun idea, but there are some real dangers. Just look at how many times I stopped and started. I erased my most recent blog because I had been considering divorce and didn't want anything I had written to be used against me. Kind of scary. I could imagine kids turning around and suing their parents for libel in this day and age, as well. Not your kids, but someone's. Maybe the private blog with a password is good, but still, people like ex's and kids could tap into it I suppose. And then, there goes the fun of having a complete stranger stumble onto it and have something nice to add. Oh well. I'm glad I have one of my life's little pleasures back! I hope you're doing really well Alana!


Grace said...

My brother (now 50) has Asperger's -- or so I think. There wasn't any word for it then, and I could write my own blog on all the challenges of trying to be a family with one member who is so ... well, "different" covers a multitude of expressions here.

So personally, I'd be riveted by hearing what it's like day-in/day-out to deal with that. And that goes also for the fibromyalgia, though I don't know anything about it.

But as I said, I totally understand getting to a place where you suddenly think about who will see these things and what might happen.

I'm very sorry that a commenter who said nasty things and didn't even have the guts to sign his/her name made this happen.

But anyway, it's a great blog no matter what, so rock on.