Wes is doing fine. He's working, etc. June 4 he will have another MRI and on June 6 we will find out the results. I'm nervous. That's our wedding anniversary. Setting aside the idea of the possibility that bad news will ruin our anniversary celebration.
Week before last (or was it just last week? I forget), I saw a neurologist. We are trying to figure out why my legs get so weak and wobbly and shaking. So she is sending me for an MRI (tomorrow) and to see and neuromuscular specialist who will do further testing (something about an enzyme biopsy, I think).
Last Friday I also had an appointment with a Physical Therapist to find some exercises I could do to relieve my shoulder pain. I also mentioned my leg issues to her. She did a work up on me, and come to find out, my pelvis is twisted! The left side of it, is tilted forward an in. So. Not. Good. This might explain my weird left leg issues and much of my back pain as well. The exercises she gave me to start correcting this issue feel miraculous in the relief they give.
Today I took Eric to see a Pediatric Rheumatologist. This appointment has been very hard to get and a very long time coming. She poked and proded and asked a million questions and is sending him for genetic testing, to a cardiologist and to an ENT for an evaluation and to get his lower back X rayed....because she suspects Marfan's Syndrome, or a genetic abnormality in that cluster of connective tissue disorders. Too early to know for sure yet, but he does have some of the physical traits...just not in a super duper pronounced way. Learning this possibility, and adding these appointments to my calendar, and imagining the doctor bills has got me very stressed out. I feel like I have been punched in the gut.
Maia got her Learner's Permit on Monday, so she is going to have to go to driving school soon, and buy a car soon. She has to hold her LP for 180 days before she can go for her road test. I hope she can meet that goal. It will be a help to have another driver in the family.
Bethany is still dealing with boatloads of anxiety and depression issues....as per usual. And Ariana is also dealing with some new anxiety and depression issues. Go figure.
On Tuesday nights our family goes to Gilda's Club, which is a cancer support group. It is a wonderful community, and there's a group for the kids, a group for me, and a group for Wes. Just what we need at this time.
I feel very disconnected from my parish. It is hard to make friends. I am lonely. So often I am sick and tired, and I can never do any of the extra things. Besides, often Bethany needs me to rescue her during Church. It is a sensory overload for her, and she can only take so much. This is very difficult.
Next school year Eric and Ariana are going to enroll in High School. I don't know yet what grade they will be in. I have a window between June 13 and 25 or so when I can take their records in and get them registered. I don't know yet what grades they will be in. Ariana is having loads of anxiety about this change in her life. Please pray for her. Eric is too, but he won't talk about it. He just plays stormy music on the piano. I am having anxiety and stress about getting their work graded and transcripts made. Please pray for me.
Maia plans on getting her GED, and then trying to work more and set aside some more funds, aiming to enroll in community college or UofL in 2015.
Wes is super busy and content at work, glory to God for that. He has nightmares about losing his ability to speak. Please pray for him.
Me? I am putting one foot in front of the other, but feeling very very much on edge. This is hard. This is SO MUCH STRESS on my plate, and there is absolutely nothing in the world I can do about it. Dear God, please take it. I don't want it anymore.