Saturday, March 15, 2014

This Needs to Be Said

Sooooo many people are praying for Wes.  I appreciate it and I can feel the love.  The knowledge of those prayers sustain me.  They really do. 

But what if....WHAT IF...God's answer to those prayers for healing is "No.  Not this time."  What if the ordinary course of nature is allowed to happen? 

What if Wes dies?  Will God be glorified in that way, too?  Will the Kingdom of God advance by the ordinary early death of one good man?

I truly hope, dear readers, that you are not pinning your hope on healing.  Because God is bigger than that.  God is bigger than our temporal hope. 

Lazarus died twice, you know. 

Someone told me, a few months ago, that "God is gonna heal him.  He has to.  So many people are praying for that." 

But he doesn't have to. 

The most basic, fundamental Christian prayer, the Lord's Prayer is taught to us by Christ God himself:  Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." 

How can I, as a servant of God, presume to tell Him what to do?  How can I know what will be best for my salvation, or for Wes' salvation, or our children's salvation? 

Of course we ask for healing.  But we ask with open hands, lifting up our cares to the Lord and trusting in His holy will. 

That's the kind of trust and faith I want to have.  That's the kind of trust and faith I want my kids to have.  That's the kind of trust and faith that glorifies God. 

Thy will be done. 

Ever since the beginning of this cancer journey with Wes I have been at that place of agony with Christ: "Let this cup pass from me, but not my will, but Thine be done." 

So if nature takes its course, and God does not miraculously intervene, I hope that God is thereby glorified.  If God reaches down and mysteriously makes Wes' cancer go away, I hope that God is thereby glorified.  If I have to become a young widow and finish raising my kids alone, if I have to step into a very very frightening future of potential poverty and loneliness, I hope that God is thereby glorified.  Or if Wes is given a few more years....whatever happens....I hope that God is thereby glorified. 

We aren't out to manipulate God.  We aren't trying to tell God what to do. 

But please, don't stop praying for us. 

May God be glorified, in ALL THINGS.  (even in death...because...."Christ is Risen from the dead, trampling down death by death and upon those in the tomb bestowing life.")


elizabeth said...

yes. so true but hard... prayers continued for sure.

Matushka Anna said...

We are praying for healing but there is more to us than the body: we also desire healing of soul. We pray for less pain, for peace. For wisdom for doctors and nurses. For you to be surrounded by love. <3

Jules said...

continued prayers. thank you Alana for being an example of giving glory to God in the face of uncertainty and trial. I struggle so much in letting go of my will and giving God glory and letting his will be done in blessing ben and I with a child or not. I will try harder to do so. I believe that Wes is healed whether it be on this earth or when God takes him out of this life. blessings!

Curly Carol said...

Healing takes so many different forms. That's why we have to pray 'not my will but Thine be done!' Healing to God sometimes does not look like we think it should but God is always glorified! We praise Him and are thankful to Him no matter what form our healing comes in! And we are greatful for His love and comfort. AMEN, and so it is! Much love to you both.

Mary said...

Alana, When Christy's husband found out that he had bile duct cancer, we prayed for healing along with people all over the world. God's answer for us was "not this time". Was He glorified in Nathan's death? I like to think he was. So much was accomplished in the time before he died that wouldn't have probably happened if he had been healed. Not our will, but Thine be done. We continue to pray for healing none the less. God's answer is sometimes "yes".successive

Selena said...

You are already bringing glory to God as you go on this painful journey. Lord have mercy on all of us.

GretchenJoanna said...

Selena is right.

Maria said...


Unknown said...

Tabitha, here. I so enjoyed seeing you guys the other night. "Bright sadness" is the expression that comes to mind. This beautiful post reminds me so much of a book I read recently. It helped me to see some of what you are saying and to adjust my thinking about Wes and God and miracles. All my life I have struggled (and still struggle) with why God CAN work miraculous healing and protection but would still choose not to, even in the face of so much faith and prayer. I am beginning to realize that by putting God in a box, defining what is and is not an acceptable miracle or outcome I have been setting myself up not only to weaken my faith, but also to blind myself to all the peripheral miracles and outcomes that I didn't expect or want. I still pray that God gives you guys a healing miracle. We all want Wes to live!!! But I am also praying that no matter what happens, God will let you see Him working in your lives, bringing about all sorts of daily or indirect "miracles". Certainly, you guys are touching all of us and showing God to us.

Elizabeth said...

Alana, this post reminds me of what Himself (my dear husband) says so frequently: God is NOT a computer. You don't push Button A and Twist Handle C and get your desired result. God will do what He will do - and thereby give opportunity for His people to Glorify Him.
Some people will say, "You must not have had enough faith," or "You must not have prayed enough." Don't let that kind of thing rattle you as you walk down this path. God is NOT a computer. He doesn't answer all prayers in the affirmative.
But He will sustain you no matter what - win, lose, draw. He is there with you. Back in our Episcopal days, one very dear woman said to me, "You can't 'feel' God when you are crucified on the back of His Cross." So, on the times you cannot "feel" Him holding you up, think about that. At the time of my very traumatic and messy divorce from my first husband, I was a melted puddle most of the time. It caught me unaware. Yet even that moral dilemma and psychic trauma led to something so much better than I ever dreamed - marriage to my best friend, conversion to Orthodoxy, and all that followed that. What happened wasn't "good." How I "let" God use it was the good. That is what - hopefully - Glorifies Him. Every.Day.Of.Our.Lives.Together. However long (or short) that will be. 37 years (almost) so far.
So, I cry out with you - Glory to God for All Things!