Thursday, February 28, 2013

Nothing to Say

I have absolutely nothing to say, but I am going to say this nothing anyway. The decaf coffee is dripping into the pot this morning, and there are almond flour muffins in the oven. It is Thursday. The world outside my window is gray and wet, except oddly enough, there is a fine layer of snow on both our cars. Nowhere else, just the cars. I have a theory about the ground warming up and about cold metal boxes. We’ll go with that, why don’t we?

The cats are wrestling in the hallway, feeling fat and sassy after their morning meal. They look healthy and fine and all things good about cats. They are extremely good looking cats, but we’ve noted to ourselves that although ordinary and cat-ike, they do not seem to be the most intelligent cats we’ve ever met. But that’s OK. We did not hire them for their brains.

People are starting to wake up. I just heard the bathroom door open, and some freshly washed person has emerged. An alarm clock is going off, predicting the arrival upstairs of one very groggy and grumpy teenage boy.

For my own self, I’d honestly rather be knitting right now, than writing, but I do have some writing related dreams and since I can’t quite seem to get my head wrapped completely around the creation of characters and a plot for a story, this faint effort at a blog post will have to do.

Life is small and ordinary, isn’t it? So many of us live like heroes and we don’t even know it. Many of us love when it is difficult to love, we communicate when we would rather withdraw, we work when we are in pain, and we push ourselves beyond the comfortable. But because life is so small and ordinary we don’t even see this about ourselves, do we?

And now everyone is awake, and the room is too noisy. I have no more thoughts. Nothing else to say.

Saturday, February 09, 2013

In the Middle of a Flare

Yesterday I had what I like to call a “pain day”. I was in pain. I blame the perfect combination of the cold front moving in, and the fact that I had a rather strenuous day of grocery shopping at multiple stores behind me the day before. The pain and extreme fatigue actually started on Thursday evening, and went through the night and all day yesterday. Today I am forcing myself to rest and recover, and setting some small goals along the way, so that my whole day is not wasted.

But I still did some good things yesterday. I had an extended chat with someone about special needs elimination diet food issues. It’s always good to connect with a kindred spirit who also has Autism Spectrum kids...someone who understands. I suppose that connection goes both ways. What a blessing.

After lunch I decided to force myself to do something and so I did something fun that brought me pleasure: I got out my pretty china and I set the table and took some pictures of it. I also made tea and cinnamon scones. I took the pictures and put them on this blog and on Facebook as a virtual tea party. I wished I could invite anyone who reads my blog or my facebook page...especially those in pain, or in grief, those who are lonely and the bedraggled.

The kids and I enjoyed eating the scones for afternoon snack and for breakfast...Ok, I’ll admit it...I made vegetable soup for dinner so that I could also eat another scone at dinner and stay with my calorie budget. Yum.

Today’s discipline involves forcing myself to be still and continue resting a bit. That means not going anywhere until this evening. The pain is greatly diminished...just present around the edges. But it could come flaring back if I over do it. I hope I can make it to Vespers. I had the opportunity to go get my CPR certification renewed today...and for only five dollars! But I passed it up. I have learned the hard way that in a fibro flare, I MUST say “no”...even to golden opportunities.

My only goals today are to bake bread, which I have done, clean up the kitchen, put together my new vacuum cleaner and sit down with some knitting. And this right here fulfills my wee writing goal for the day.

Such is a small life in the midst of a fibro flare. There is goodness, there is beauty and there is love in the midst of the pain.

Friday, February 08, 2013