"Be still and know that I am God."
I think that's what I'm supposed to learn. This mono thing has got me down again this week. I went to the zoo on Monday because I was feeling decent and have been sick ever since. My left side has started hurting again, blah blah blah. Obviously (hindsight being 20/20) I was not ready for such an outing, even though on the front end I did feel ready.
Oh well. Live and learn.
So, I'm learning to ask for help. I'm learning to say "no". I'm learning the basics of just being present with my family, and of being present in my own body. And being still and here with God.
I have to learn to listen to my body and its needs and through this process, it is amazing to me how often I ignore what my body really needs in favor of something more cerebral or emotional.
Sometimes I find that I ignore when my body says "enough"...whether it's to food, or activity, or whatever. Sometiems I find that I ignore the basic need for water until I am beyond thirsty and craving something really unhealthy like a diet coke.
I've got to learn to listen to myself and take care of myself. I am learning this. This illness is teaching me that, forcing me to learn it in a whole new way. I don't necessarily LIKE the learning process, mind you. But I'm working on it.
Soon it will be lent. I feel like all of 2011 has been lent already. Pascha can't come soon enough.