Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Eccentric

For years I've been restraining my more eccentric urges, hoping to somehow pass for normal and making myself miserable in the process. Feeling torn and miserable all the time is no way to live. Yes, it's true.

So, I've decided to just go with the flow of who I am and not worry so much about what others might think of this particular middle-aged lady (am I middle aged yet? I'm sure not trying to be young anymore.) Yeah, it's probably a developmental milestone or something that comes along with getting wee little hot flashes.

Too bad they don't make a book called "What to Expect the Thirty-Ninth Year".

I bet wee little hot flashes would be in such a book. As well as finally arriving at the notion that nobody really cares whether one is eccentric or not, so one might as well be as weird as one desires. (All within moral, ethical and religious boundaries, of course). Ha!

So I feel better. I was pretty depressed and shed many tears this past weekend, but I think I'm going to stop beating myself up over my weirdnesses and eccentricities, and go with the flow of who I am. Because maybe, just maybe, God made me this way.

10 comments:

JustinZ said...

I think I'm going to stop beating myself up over my weirdnesses and eccentricities, and go with the flow of who I am.

What a strange thing to do!

Anonymous said...

Thought at vespers Monday: My how many lovely, eccentric, self-conscious people we have here at St. Michael's. Everywhere I turn there is someone I want to get to know better but our combined awkward self-consciousness means that will take some time. Oh well, at least we have eternity to do that in.

Rachel

gemma said...

Good plan Alana - my grandmother would say "You just made God smile" and that always meant we did the right thing.

Veiled Glory said...

Join the club. ;-) Happy for the real Alana.

elizabeth said...

yeah. i hear you there. love to you.

maria said...

I celebrate you!

Dollymama said...

Don't rob the world of the uniqueness of you!

Monica said...

I haven't been checking in because I thought you weren't blogging during Lent. Glad to catch back up.

I love eccentricities. Hey - you could write the book "What to Expect your 39th year"

geekywife said...

I'd love to read a 39th year expectations book!

More pressing is my need for a 26th year book. (I've taken a break from my defunct blog, geekywife.wordpress, but I'll keep up with you via yahoo. Until then, I'll try to write that 26th year handbook.)
cheers,
j

geekywife said...

I'd love to read a 39th year expectations book!

More pressing is my need for a 26th year book. (I've taken a break from my defunct blog, geekywife.wordpress, but I'll keep up with you via yahoo. Until then, I'll try to write that 26th year handbook.)
cheers,
j