Monday, May 19, 2008

Bad Fibro Cycle

(The cane I want.)
I'd appreciate anyone's prayers. I am currently in a really bad fibromyalgia cycle. I'm to the point on the guaifenesin protocol that I don't cycle as often as I used to, so when I do cycle, I'm not used to it, and it really sets me back and slows me down.

My mantra is "God's will be done". I did not choose this. But God made me, and I have this, so I hope that in it, God will somehow be glorified. For the opportunity to glorify God, even in this nasty chronic illness, I am grateful.

But it's also hard. Right now my hip is really bad, and I've been on my not-very-ergonomically-correct cane more often which makes my wrists hurt. And, I've not been very able to exercise. Which slows down my weight loss efforts, which gets me discouraged. And the pain makes me want a glass of wine, and then I get the munchies...so I get even more discouraged about my weight loss efforts. But I keep trying, (except when I'm not trying...) or I keep starting to try over and over, and eventually and very very slowly it adds up and I do succeed a little bit. It all feels rather pathetic. (Most people would have lost their 50 pounds by now. Seriously.)

Just little things wear me out much more quickly than they would otherwise. And it's perpetually frustrating when I don't have enough energy to do house work, and so the house is messy. Tomorrow I will rally the troops (kids) and get them to do a tidy-sweep of our main living areas. Today they were very helpful in switching out laundry loads and I managed to cook the world's easiest dinner (chicken and rice bake and peas) and wash dishes...well, most of the dishes, and run a couple of errands.

But right now my hip is really bothering me, and I wish I had a plug for my tub, so that I could take a hot bath. I keep meaning to buy one at the store, and then when I'm there I forget, or run out of energy to go to the hardware section. Perhaps I could improvise with a baggie full of a wadded up wet washcloth, or something like that.

So, that's my life when I'm in a nasty fibro flare up. The good thing is, while I was resting this afternoon, I got the rest of Deuteronomy read, the epistle of Jude and am almost half way through Joshua. I'm glad to be out of the Pentateuch and into the Historical Books.

And, it was interesting to recently have read about the rebellion of Korah, and then read about it mentioned in Jude.

Forgive me if this post sounds whiney. I don't mean for it to be.

12 comments:

Maggie said...

I will pray for you. I have joint pain associated with lupus (in a kind of remission, thank God) but I've never had to deal with it and look after a family at the same time. Being able to make yourself cook dinner seems incredible to me - I would be in the "I can get out of this one" chair feeling too sorry for myself.

emily said...

Praying...

Veiled Glory said...

With you before Christ, my friend.

Mimi said...

Lord have Mercy, Lord have Mercy, Lord have Mercy.

I'm so sorry. Hugs and prayers.

debbiewhitlock said...

I came across your blog and see if you suffer with fibro. I do as well, not as bad as I used to. I went thru about 4 years that was really hard on me. I was diagnosed with Epstein Barr Virus and the Fibro. But I seem to be much better now and hardly have any signs of it at all. Thank the God Lord I am able to be pretty normal again. I hope things get better for you. Good luck and God bless.

Debbie

joyfulprayz said...

I am keeping you in my prayers. I have fibro, also. It can be pretty miserable! I also live in Kentucky - I think our weather makes it worse. Take care!

Robin

elizabeth said...

hang in there...

Anonymous said...

Alana, I always come to your blog entries late--but your writing makes me think of the passage in Romans 8 where all of creation is groaning to be released from the pains of this fallen earth. (Perhaps that's my own interpretatin.) In the same context he encourages us that the Spirit interceeds with groans too deep for words. I hear your blog and the Spirit groaning in unison--not complaining, but groaning for release. I love you. bjm

Anonymous said...

You're not whiny. I hope you feel better soon. (((Hugs))) -- if they would even feel good right now! I've been thinking of you all -- how is B??
--Theodora (too lazy to log in)

gemma said...

Praying for relief for you. Sorry things are not good...you are not whiny. Everyone needs to vent and boy you surely should. Hope that cycle is almost over for you.

Father Thomas said...

All the saints and angels of heaven weep with you, my child. Father Thomas

Lisa said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I am also suffering from a flare and my shoulder and hips, legs, knees ache, further more it hurts to sit, or to lay. I am not on a cain (knock on wood) however i have severe joint pain, muscle cramps, and at times wonder if I can even wash my hair. Do you suffer from deep muscle aches and horrible muscle cramping? does you brain often not work? and does the exercise you used to be able to do now seem like climbing mount everest? I am curious. I need support and I feel your pain, literally and figuratively. I want to compare symptoms as I feel like I was diagnosed with Fibro because no antibodies showed up. What other symptoms do you have, or within the first year? How about your stomach... is it affected? Thank you for your help. What I tell myself is we have a ton to be fortunate for, and if this is the worst of it, i have clothes on my back, and health care, I have so many things anyone would die to have. I think of it as another one of lifes burden and like anything else ... moderation even moderation. Its a balancing act. Oh and how is your sleep? I am curious if my symptoms are similar to yours? If i can do anything other than pray that we serve better purposes and maybe we need the strength for some other purpose yet disclosed and this is our 'workout'. I feel as if its a test. Please reply. Would love to chat. Loved your post.

if interested read my blog, not on health, but on life. I love to write. http://thelandoflili.blogspot.com/