Now that the weather has cooled off, I'm back to sitting out on the back porch. I've got a very comfortable chair out there, and I like to sit in my sleeping bag with a mug or thermos caraffe of something hot, sipping and praying. It soothes the snarles and tangles of my stressed out innards.
It's been a rough week with one of my kids. Many tangles that need soothing. (Prayers appreciated.)
This morning I saw two couples of cardinals: two sets of male and female pairs. I wonder if it was a family, and a pair of blue jays. It was lovely to see them flitting around in the early morning sun. The cardinals were especially well-hidden amongst the red and orange un-raked leaves in our yard. Simply beautiful. Also, since the weather has been odd, the honeysuckle has not decided to drop its folliage this fall, and the grass is still green. A few days ago I noticed that the neighbors still have roses blooming. Confused plants.
Another thing that happened is that I kicked my best shoes off on the back porch the other day when I was settling down for some prayers. There they sat for a couple of days. We generally keep all our shoes on the back porch, so I thought nothing of it. Yesterday, I went to retrieve those shoes, and they were gone. Gone. As in: Not there.
Did I bring them inside? I've looked everywhere. I even went through the dirty laundry, in case they got picked up accidentally with a load of clothes going to the wash room. Nope, not there. I've looked under everything, behind everywhere, in everything. I've searched high and low. Those shoes, last seen on my back porch, are gone.
It's creepy. Did someone go up onto my porch and look around, decide they liked the looks of those shoes and leave with them? They were cozy brown suede Merrell slides with a fleece interior. They were my only warm winter shoes. And I can't afford to replace them.
I did not buy those shoes. Last winter I prayed: "Lord, I need some brown shoes. Please help me to find some that are good for my back, that I can afford." A couple of days later a friend of mine gave me a bag of hand-me-downs, and on top were those shoes. A bad fit for her, a perfect fit for me. Brand new. God provided.
So now I'm still hunting for those shoes, having a hard time believing that they could have "walked off", while at the same time feeling creeped out and violated. Or, I'll feel really stupid when they turn up some place odd where I put them. But did I? I don't think so. I"m trying hard not to be sad and upset about those shoes. I suppose I was too attached to them. How could I not be? Every time I put them on I was reminded tangibly that God loves me and cares for me and answered that prayer.
The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.
Lord, I don't have any warm winter dress shoes....