Monday, August 14, 2006

To what effect?

How much time do we waste doing silly and frivolous things instead of things that will bring us closer to God?

I phrase this in the "We" but I really mean "me".

I watch DVD's at night, or read novels. Is it any harder to pray the psalter? I think not. It's just a matter of choices. I blog. Is it any harder to commune with God and intercede before his throne? Again, a matter of choices and blind preference, of comfort. Of lazyness.

How much has my behavior stymied my hard pursuit after God?

How much has my own sinfulness and lack of repentance, my own laziness and comfort-seeking prevented me from pursuing God with all my heart.

The truth of the matter is, I have HOURS a day that I could spend devoted to prayer, and still homeschool and still do my house work, and still read to the kids, train the and raise them and still spend time with the people God brings my way.

I want to please my Heavenly Father. I want to draw near to Christ. I need to do this for my LIFE. After all, in eternity there is only God. There is not romance novels and british sit coms.

We put the saints up on pedestals and act like there is NO way we can imitate them. But I think that is a lie from the evil one who wants to destroy our souls.

Oh, how foolish, foolish, foolish I have been! O Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner!

3 comments:

Mimi said...

Lord have Mercy indeed. That's why we have the cycle of the feasts and fasts, because we all (or at least ME) falls down and needs help getting up oh, a bazillion times a day.

Susan Sophia said...

You speak words from my heart and mind. I ask these questions all the time. And I completely agree with you when you say "We put the saints up on pedestals and act like there is NO way we can imitate them. But I think that is a lie from the evil one who wants to destroy our souls."
I get so tired hearing people say things akin to "I can never do that" or "we are so sinful, we'll confess the same sins all our life and never get anywhere." I feel like I hear it all the time. I couldn't disagree with these sentiments more. IT'S WORK...and we all have the capability to step up the ladder if we WANT TO and are willing to WORK! We CAN CHOOSE to change and by the grace of God accomplish it, baby steps at a time. IT'S WORK.
I literally feel like if I AM making strides that I can't appear to because people might think I'm "acting" holier than they.

Sorry for going on, maybe too far.
Forgive me.

Susan Sophia said...

My favorite quote...


If you do not feel like praying, you have to force yourself. The Holy Fathers say that prayer with force is higher than prayer unforced. You do not want to, but force yourself. The Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force (Matt. 11:12).

REF:St. Ambrose of Optina (+1891)