Friday, June 16, 2006

I am the invisible woman

There are no books, or magazine articles geared to someone in my stage of life. I don't have a job. I don't have BABIES. No, the kids are big. There are no play dates at which to meet moms. There are not clubs or groups at which to meet other moms. I don't homeschool, so there are no homeschool groups, and when I did, I so thoroughly did NOT fit in. Same with PTA. I tried that. I failed miserably.

So, what's up with me? What's wrong with me?

Should I bleach my hair blonde and start going to a tanning bed and get a tatoo so I can fit in with the ladie's "chat and share" time at the local park, sponsored by "Ye local Baptiste Church" for which I got an flyer handed to me while I was out mowing the lawn yesterday?

I think I"m totally invisible. I think I'm the only woman in america who is over 35 and either does not have a job or does not have an unusually large family and/or homeschooling responsibilities.

So, this month, I finish the wedding dress. Next month I start writing for Sunday School. We are going to take our kids through the Old Testament. I hope to have at least the first semester's worth of lessons done before SS starts in September.

Here's something I've figured out: I"m good at doing stuff and being creative, but I'm really really bad at making money.

12 comments:

basil said...

Believe it or don't: Most people I know these days consider four children to be unusually large. Not freakish, just unusual.

Texas Matushka said...

Care to share the church school material with a mission in Texas?

Mka. Dea

Laura said...

You are blessed to have the space in which to exercise your creativity. I imagine that the more you do, the more people you will meet and it may begin to bear fruit financially as well.

As Peter Gabriel said, "Don't give up!"

Philippa said...

No you're not invisible. Your description sounded like me at the same age. Though now I am 10 years older, no kids at home, busy with *life* but not friends. How that happened I don't know.

July 1 I will start writing/putting together Church School material too. I found a place called "The Hub" on the OCA web site that has some good OT material, which I will be sharing with Father in the hopes of implementing.

Lemme know how the writing goes.

DollyMama said...

Hey Alana, I'm there with you. This year all of my kids will go to school at least part time. However, I have so many things in my brain that I want to do, I feel like the world is wide open to me. Even though I now work on home business and writing ventures, I am really excited about the homemaking opportunities. So many things that I never could do with kids all around. I am excited about it all.

I agree that there does not seem to be many groups for fellowship, though. It seems that I get most of that online or only if I set up something myself, which is ok.

Nothing's wrong with you.

You know what? I am taking an online class about web sites and one of the things in the class talked about finding your niche. It was talking about how you don't want your web site to be one of 9 million in the same category. Instead you want to be one of a very small niche group for higher quality visitors to your site.

This was a real boost to me. I had been stressing out about the future of my business, wondering if I should pretend to be different than I am, all to capture part of a market that I see doing very well. I realized that being myself is my own best niche. Not everybody is going to "get" who I am, but that's ok. I'd rather not try to force myself to fit in and just wait for a few high-quality friends who do.

Sometimes it just feels like a long wait.

Hang in there. I have known you for...what? 12 years now? You are an interesting, talented, fun person. There is nothing wrong with you and you are not invisible.

james said...

That's how I feel being 30 and single. There are no milestones to celebrate, no clubs or groups that are not focused on hooking me up or moaning about why we're not hooked up.

It's interesting other folks (in other categories) feel the same.

BookRdr said...

There is still a lot you can do but I understand that feeling of being apart from rather than a part of. I am older, 60, but in my church I am invisible. Isn't that silly? I sing in the worship team but once that is done everyone goes their own way. We have groups for the singles, the young or married marrieds up to almost my age. They are starting a Wed night Bible study for the "rest" of us that aren't in a group. Yay. So the next time you come across one of us baby boomers remember, we are not old and we are not invisible. Be kind. Tnaks

Anonymous said...

I feel invisible now too, I used to have a lot of friends when I was confident, rude, righteous, and outspoken. Within a few years my husband and I divorced, my dad died, my boss of several years left, I was literally abandoned, so I turned to God. I felt warm, I felt humble, I felt saved. But I also lost all my friends and have never been so lonely because now I don't gossip, party, snip, and step on others. Noone calls me back, I get few invites now, I am boring.... Where's the balance. I don't understand either. How does this matter when you are trying to put yourself in the hands of the lord. I feel for you because I am there too. I go everywhere, travel, chat, am lively, engage in conversation to try to meet new people, it never goes beyond anything.

Jackie said...

I feel for you , really do. On the surface, I appear to have it all. A good husband, lovely children and a job which in the main I enjoy. What's the problem I hear you say? I constantly feel invisible when I am in the company of other people. I always feel that they have no real interest in talking to me or hearing my opinions - I cannot explain. I'm not bad looking , fairly intelligent and not a nasty human being yet constantly I'm asking myself "what is wrong with me?" Just this morning I was in a work situation where alot of my colleagues were assembled and I looked around and there were pockets of people engaged in conversation and I was just standing alone - felt utterly miserable and the old question came back to haunt me.........

Anonymous said...

I feel for you , really do. On the surface, I appear to have it all. A good husband, lovely children and a job which in the main I enjoy. What's the problem I hear you say? I constantly feel invisible when I am in the company of other people. I always feel that they have no real interest in talking to me or hearing my opinions - I cannot explain. I'm not bad looking , fairly intelligent and not a nasty human being yet constantly I'm asking myself "what is wrong with me?" Just this morning I was in a work situation where alot of my colleagues were assembled and I looked around and there were pockets of people engaged in conversation and I was just standing alone - felt utterly miserable and the old question came back to haunt me.........

Anonymous said...

Why don't u volunteer. It's a fufiling experience.

Anonymous said...

I know how you feel. I am 48 and I can be surrounded by friends and still feel alone. I feel like I am boring. I am single. I have no kids. I work two jobs. I have no social life of any kind. I feel like I have nothing to contribute to a conversation and when I do no one listens like I'm not important or what I have to say isn't important. I can be at work and customers will come into the store and not even acknowledge me. HELLO!! I'm here! I feel like saying that sometimes just to see what kind of reaction I will get from them, but then with my luck they will probably complain and say I was rude to them. I don't know what to do. I don't know for sure if something is wrong with me. It gets depressing.